If It's Any Consolation...

Happy Friday!

Have a fun and safe Halloween tomorrow Kiddos!

Read about my love of Halloween HERE.

Look for the final 30 Days of Awesome post and pictures from Halloween sometime next week, as I doubt I'll be posting anything over the weekend because I am FINALLY MOVING! Wish me luck! Loves to all of you!

WW: Tribute to My Spooky Side

Halloween has always been one of my very favorite Holidays, which works when you have a mother that likes to go all-out for things. I'm going to say my love for costumes started to develop when I was about two, and my mother turned me into Miss Piggy (above) in a very elaborate manner.

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend, and we were discussing childhood Halloweens. She was talking about how she'd been a princess many times, and I found it kind of funny that I never wanted to be a princess. My most memorable childhood costumes include a black cat, a gypsy, a dead beauty queen, a pioneer girl, a ghost, a magician, a puppy (below) and on several occasions, a witch.

My Sister Shayla as a princess, I'm a spotted dog.

As I grew, I ran with my love for costumes and became the costume mistress in High School as well. Halloween never ceased to be my favorite Holiday, and the year after I graduated I made the trip to Ogden to be with my best friend Melanie for the Samhain celebration. We were both witches, and it is one of the happiest times I can recall.

In 2007 I was living with Melanie at the time, and ended up having two costumes that year. I had the most fun with my makeup for my Gypsy costume. It was simple, as I layered some shirts and wore a big flowy skirt, and tied a pretty red scarf around my head. Melanie was a Shaman for that party.

On Halloween day we both had chosen another costume. I was a kitty (go figure) and Melanie was a witch (double-go-figure) and we had a great time.

This is my "Cat" face.

I'm just being cute now.

These are the pumpkins we carved that year.

In 2008 my life was in a completely different place, and I spent the holiday with my (then) boyfriend Matt and his brother (Ken) and sister-in-law (Kristina) and all four of their kids.

Yeah, so I was a cat again. I had procrastinated.

Kristina and me.

Hailey (Fairy), Kaden (Monkey), Kailee (Fairy), Devin (Pumpkin).

However...
Let's face it-I'm not afraid to dress up like a freak any time of the year! :)

Zombie Walk - August 2009

Sparetime Family Fun Center - Random Occasion 2007

Sparetime Family Fun Center - Easter 2007

Planet Rainbow - Random Occasion 2009

Yes, I actually wore a sticker that said "Contains 5% Alcohol" for a party.

My "Spooky Side" was brought to you today by the totally spooky Mama Kat. Click the button below to check her and other Ghosts and Ghouls out for the Writers Workshop.

To Feel OR Not To Feel

I miss writing, I mean really writing. It seems that all I've done lately is participate in Memes from other blogs (which I enjoy) and I haven't posted much from the heart. Did this stem from realizing how public my blog is? That not only my mother reads what I write here, but also my coworkers? Is that reason enough to mask what I'm feeling and hide my true thoughts? I honestly don't know...

I'd love to post something deep and agonizing here. To bleed it out like I can with my paper journal, letting everything flow directly from my heart to the paper in dark obsidian ink. I just can't. I sit here and stare at the blank "New Post" window, willing myself to be vulnerable. Begging the Universe for something thought provoking and terrifying that I can spill forth for the world to be astounded by; but I feel nothing. The feelings in my chest are as numb as the cool black keys that click with every stroke of my fingers. There is nothing.

Recently, I started taking St. Johns Wart, an herbal anti-depressant that you can buy over the counter nearly anywhere these days. Having many of the same mood-elevating benefits as prescription anti-depressants, it has far fewer side effects than most of the chemical remedies we too often give out in our culture. This small herbal capsule once daily is a test for me, as I've never seriously considered doing anything about the lows I often feel due to genetics and other influencing factors I've recognized since my years in high school.

I love feelings, and I love to feel them as strongly as possible. When I feel sad, I want to dive into the despair and wallow in it, feeling every heartbreak and as much ache as humanly possible. On the other end of it, if I'm happy I love to engulf myself in the joy and ride the high as far as I can. I just like to feel things, to taste every different emotion on my tongue, and to really live.

So for me to knowingly put something in my body that levels out those highs and lows, goes against everything I've been telling myself for years. I have been able to tell how it affects me, and I feel... Numb.

Numb is at once both saddening and relieving. To feel numb is to stop experiencing the wide spectrum of emotions and energies the world throws at you, and to stop learning from them. However, it is occasionally a very nice reprieve from the overload emotion can cause.

The way I see it, I'm due for a little numbness.

I have always been a person who is pushed towards love. Chasing it, aching for it, and waiting for it to happen. Taking a break from the overwhelming emotions I've experienced this year is allowing me to step out of this race for love, and to just enjoy being with myself, and making decisions for myself, and not because of how I feel a relationship may or may not turn out. It's strangely liberating to feel so free, without the constant manipulation my affection can be.

This is not the time for foolish dreaming, it is the time for taking control of my life with logic, and not emotion. It's time for my heart to take a rest and stop dictating towards my mind. That same mind which can now take the lead and make something happen using cool intellect instead of the usual fire that burns too hot to let anything else through...

RTT: Drunken Coworkers, Broken Cameras, and New Apartments!

*Hello readers! It's time for Tuesday Random Thoughts again! Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday, I was home sick. Not fun right? Not at all... By about noon I was already bored and cursing the heavens that I'd had to miss out on a full day of work. Also, my roommates kiddos were sickly too, and Kailee was even running a fever of 105 degrees. I felt so bad for them! So the four of us (Kristina, Kailee, Kaden and myself) went to the Wee Care to have them checked out, and then we all ended up snuggled up on the couch watching movies.

**Can I just say that it totally isn't Halloween time until you've watched Hocus Pocus and Nightmare Before Christmas while enjoying a lovely Pumpkin Blizzard from DQ? I mean seriously, apart from being sick, that was fab.

***Josh and I signed a lease on Saturday! It was crazy, and totally unexpected, but completely awesome too! We went out Saturday morning with intentions of just looking at a bunch of them, but then we fell in love with a really large two bedroom a few blocks up from Liberty Park. It's on this cute little street with a bunch of houses where there were people raking their leaves and Halloween decor out. This is the kind of street you imagine trick-or-treating on as a child, as it's lined with bright orange trees on every side.

****I'll try and post pictures of the new apartment when I can, but I'll have to borrow Josh's camera as mine bit the dust. I stopped by the apartment on Sunday and though "Hey, I'll snap a few pictures while I'm here!" Unfortunately, when I removed my little Nikon point-and-shoot from my bag, the screen had been mashed and I found it to be dead. Sad day my friends. On the upside, that camera was really crap-tastic, so this is a very good excuse to get a new one! I can't afford much, but I'm thinking a little Cannon or maybe a Kodak Easy Share? Any opinions from the crowd out there?

*****In any case, I'm super excited to be moving on Sunday! I finally managed to get my bedroom furniture painted (black) after finally giving up on the cheap Wally-World paintbrushes and heading to Lowe's for Spray Paint. I am in love with Spray Paint. It was so utterly fantastic and I managed to get everything painted in under 2 hours! That was very much faster than it would have been to paint it all by hand for several coats.

****Friday night my coworker and I are co-hosting a Halloween party at her house. We're talking music, games, and lots and lots of liquor. Drunkenness with a mixture of my coworkers and friends? Doesn't sound like such a great idea, except that my coworkers pretty much rock.

***It snowed today. What the Eff... I guess we all knew it was coming, but really? Really? OK, I'll admit the snow was a little exciting. I always feel giddy when I see the seasons changing and feel that rush in the air. However, I do have one plea: please Mother Nature, let it not keep snowing this week... At least let us get through Halloween and moving before you lay it on us. Please?

**I'm wearing pigtails today. There's really only one other person around here who knows what that means, and I'm not explaining. :) Have fun with that one!

*I'm also wearing the leather jacket I snagged from my grandpa. It's bulky, and definitely a man's jacket as it was NOT made for hips. I'm just saying... I have hips... Lots of hips, and zipping the jacket up around my hips is a little difficult.

Good Enough

I love Evanescence, and in watching some of their music videos again recently, this one resonated with me.

At this point in my life, I do feel good enough. I don't feel the need to be chasing after something I can't have, or hanging onto something that never truly was... It seems I spent a great deal of this last year doing just those things.

I fell in love twice this year, and was burnt by those feelings on both occasions. However, I wouldn't trade them for the world. These last few months have led to so much growth on my end, and I wouldn't be feeling "good enough" now, if I hadn't felt inadequate quite a bit in the past. I felt the inadequacy of not being enough for them, of not being what they wanted or needed at the time, and of not being able to let go and move on from those feelings.

Today, I feel more than adequate in how I am living, and I feel comfortable with my life right now. I've moved past the hell my love-life has been this year, and I've learned so much from it. At this time, I do not feel the need to pursue a serious relationship or fall in love again. It will happen when it happens, and I may or may not be scarred in the process, but if that happens I will learn something more from it. That's the beauty of failure; it teaches you how to better succeed next time.

I'm just living and breathing. That's all that can be asked of me, and that's all I'm focused on right now. I have a good job that I enjoy, I have friends and family I love, companionship when I need it, a roof over my head, and I'm surviving and thriving. What more could you ask for?

The only person I have to be good enough for is myself. I'm the only one that truly matters when it comes to living up to expectations, and anyone who truly matters will love me and accept me for what I am, everyone else can politely excuse themselves.

I am good enough.

Thank the Gods it's FRIDAY!

My brain is completely fried from this week, so I leave you all with a lovely XKCD comic that relates to work.

Hello weekend, how I've missed you!

For Me? Thank You!

Look! I received another bloggy award from Lacey over at Apartment 513! This was so sweet of her, she's such a doll! Go check her out and leave her some love for me!



This award comes with a survey attached, so here are my answers! If you're tagged, go ahead and fill out the survey with yours! :)

1. Where is your cell phone? In my pocket.
2. Your hair? Red, long, and in braids right now...
3. Your mother? Is a very sweet woman.
4. Your father? We're too alike, but I love him.
5. Your favorite food? Cheesecake
6. Your dream last night? I can't remember, but it was nuts!
7. Your favorite drink? Strawberry Daiquiri
8. Your dream/goal? Become a world renowned writer, and be happy in life.
9. What room are you in? Technical Support room at Redgear. (Work)
10. Your hobby? Too many to list!
11. Your fear? Losing the people I love.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy and comfortable.
13. Where were you last night? Playing games with Max and Ken!
14. Something that you aren’t? Afraid to speak my mind.
15. Muffins? If I'm in the mood...
16. Wish list item? New laptop, camera, and that knit hat on Etsy...
17. Where did you grow up? All around UT, but I say Spanish Fork.
18. Last thing you did? Laughed with my coworkers.
19. What are you wearing? Jeans, red tank top, brown hippie shirt.
20. Your TV? Really, it's just my laptop.
21. Your pets? Emma and Pumpkin, my kitties...
22. Friends? They're my family!
23. Your life? Has it's ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it.
24. Your mood? Flirty
25. Missing someone? Surprisingly not.
26. Vehicle? 2002 Honda Civic!
27. Something you’re not wearing? Earrings?
28. Your favorite store? Hobby Lobby (craft store)
29. Your favorite color? Red, currently.
30. When was the last time you laughed? A moment ago, with the coworkers.
31. Last time you cried? I can't remember.
32. Your best friend? There are a few I classify as best friends.
33. One place that I go to over and over? Josh's house.
34. One person who emails me regularly? My mother.
35. Favorite place to eat? Woo, depends on my mood...

And in the spirit of Giving, I'm sending this award on to 5 peeps I think highly of!

Anarchic Wondering

Colletti Family

Ask Trey

Stuperhero Extraordinaire

Lil Red & Peter Pan

Show them all some love because they're all over-the-top!

Also, on a quick random note, my coworker Denny sent me this the other day. It's Howls Moving Castle in Legos! Sooooo awesome!

RTT: Self-Realizations & Secrets

It's Tuesday, and boy do I have a lot of random thoughts in my head this week. However, I can't discuss all of them in this venue just yet, so a lot of it is going to be said using Post Secrets (secrets that belong to other people, but I relate to strongly) mixed in with other thoughts...

I recently had a new friend say to me "I'm impressed that you know who you are at 23 years old. You seem so secure and sure of yourself." The first response my mind formulated was to quickly deny it, as I don't feel that I know who I am, but then I thought about it for a minute. He's right, I know who I am right now. I know who I am inside, I know who I am when I present myself to the world, I just don't always know what I want.

The reason I don't know what I want, is because it changes every day. Who I am, doesn't change. I feel really good right now, and if he hadn't pointed that out to me I wouldn't feel as secure as I do at this moment. I know who I am. That's such a beautiful thing to feel!

The same friend said to me "You're so 'peace & love' I love it!" I'm also flattered about that... I'm such a hippie at heart sometimes, and I like that people can see that sometimes!

Speaking of friends making me realize things about myself, Kristina said something the other day that was true too. She said "I love the way you really rally yourself around things. If you're single, you make it so your happy to be single. If your dating, you're all happy to be dating. It's like you make every situation fit your life."

Call it the optimist in me, but she's right, I rally myself around whatever situation life throws at me. I know I can't control everything, but I can at least control how I respond to the random stuff life throws my way...

This is the bracelet I just made for myself. I snagged a friends broken guitar string and wound it around itself and I've been wearing it since. I really dig the fact that it looks really nice, yet it's just an old guitar string. It seems really special to me and makes me smile every time I look at it!

Why am I always afraid of the things I want most in life? Can anyone explain that to me?

Josh's answer to every little freak-out I have is "Just breath and live in the moment!" The Post Secret above reminded me of our little talks, and I felt the need to post it. I forget to breath. Literally, there are times when I'm thinking so hard I physically forget to breath. Now, figuratively, I forget to breath as well. I forget to take a moment to remember that everything will work out OK in the end, and that I should just go with the flow of life and not worry about things...

So my friends, I leave you with the following suggestion: Take a moment to stop and breath. To remember who you are, and that even though you can't control life, you can control how you choose to live.

Breath

Also, go check out more random thoughts by clicking below!

R.I.P Bill

I just learned that an old coworker of mine, Bill Phillips, passed away on Friday due to complications with Cancer and Pneumonia. I just wanted to pay a small tribute to him in my blog here, because for the two years I worked with him (and even after) I held him in the highest respect. I love that guy, he always brightened my day with his cantankerous nature and jokes, and I was always glad to sit and chat with him on a slow day.

I'll update this post when I know when the funeral is, and with a picture when I get home.

R.I.P Bill, you were such an awesome person, and you will be missed.

Awesome Recap

Wow, I realize I'm a little behind on my Awesomeness (and posting in general) as I kept myself pretty busy all weekend. It was really a weekend of go-go-go, and I hardly stopped to take a breath between all of the different activities. I just did the math, and I have to update on Awesomeness for about 6 days! I'm shocked at how far behind I am... In any case, I think I'll just do a nice little recap.

To read about Awesome Week 1 - Click Here!

To see what the Awesomeness is all about - Click Here!

Awesome Day 8

• TGIF - There is no more awesome day than Friday.
• Seeing 3Reasonz at Club Allure
• Hanging out with Josh, Ortie, Emily and Angel
• Watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my friends
• Payday!

Awesome Day 9

• Driving to SLC with Emily to do some shopping.
• Picking up my Bridesmaid dress (Though the bill was not-so-awesome)
• Wandering the Spirit store to look at Halloween goodies
• Visiting the Blue Boutique *Grin*
• Eating at Noodles & Company
• Finally buying the books I've been wanting to buy at B&N
• Lotion & body spray that smells like fall!
• Nightmare on 13th with Josh, Angel and Emily
• Cuddling up and watching QAF with Emily and Josh
• Spending the night in the spare bed at Josh's house!

Awesome Day 10

• Sunday morning breakfast at the Star Cafe
• Browsing Target with Kristina and Josh
• Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks
• Playing games with Max and Ken

Awesome Day 11

• Dinner with Max at Carls Jr.
• Browsing comic books at Heebeejeebees
• Playing games with Max and Ken again

Awesome Day 12

• Walking through the cemetery at night with Emily
• Slurpees in Domo cups!
• Cuddling up and watching Repo with Emily

Awesome Day 13

• Falling in love with the movie Howl's Moving Castle
• Going to bed early for once

Awesome Day 14

• Tax deadline day (Not really awesome)
• 11 hour shift and overtime
• Dinner at Panda with Josh and Paul
• Watching Supernatural, 30 days of Night & The Guild

Awesome Day 15

(I wish I had pictures, sorry for being lame guys!)

• Being blunt
• Having so much fun gabbing with coworkers at work
• Hanging out at Heather's house all evening
• Playing Mario Kart
• Staying up late, drinking and laughing too hard!
• TGIF

Awesome Day 16

• Working on Xmas stuff at my gran's
• Hanging out with Josh, Max and Angel at the Gateway
• Giving a new friend a ride home and hanging out chatting that evening
• Music and good times!
• My new bracelet I made out of a guitar cord!

Awesome Day 17

• Sunday morning breakfast with Josh and Max
• Shopping at Target
• Baby Shower (It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be)
• Wearing my new bracelet all around
• Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes with Kristina
• Hiking up by the Castle and sitting on the mountain looking down
• New red nail polish
• Putting bloody handprints on my car for Halloween!

Look at all the fall colors! So pretty!

The view from the mountain. It felt so much like sitting on top of the world where it's calm and quiet. It's hard not to feel more at peace up there!

Kristina and I while up on the mountain.

The bloody handprints on my car.

Peace out friends!

ABCs of Me

Allow me to be narcissistic for a moment, if you will. My brain is completely fried, and I think it's because I spent yesterday thinking so hard on decisions I was making, that there isn't much brainpower left over today. Could also be related to the fact that I never seem to allow myself much sleep. Go figure.

Anyway, in light of not having much of anything to say, and no scheduled bloggy participation's, I'm snagging this Meme from Loralee. So here are some good ABCs about me. :)
A – ADVOCATE FOR: Human Rights (a.k.a equal rights for Gays too!) There doesn't seem to be anything that fires me up as much as that cause. Also, Health Care reform, compassion towards others, and using proper grammar and spelling on the Internet!

B – BEST FEATURE: Physically? I'd have to say my eyes. I love their color and their depth! Non-physically it would have to be my giving nature and ability to love unconditionally.

C – COULD DO WITHOUT: Being tired. If I didn't have to sleep as much, I could get stuff done and not suffer when I haven't had enough sleep. I really miss those days (back in HS) when I could stay up reading all night, and still be up and happy to go to school at 6am.
D – DREAMS & DESIRES: I want to be a writer. I've wanted to be a writer since I was 7 years old. Yet here I am, 23 and I haven't written anything. That's very sad. However, this year, with a little inspiration from Beth and support from Emily, I will be doing NaNoWriMo! I'm so excited! This better work... I had better finally have the resolve to finish something I'm writing and to actually try and get published! It's time to make some of my dreams come true!
E – ESSENTIAL ITEMS: Toothpaste/toothbrush-I hate feeling like my teeth are grungy. QTips-I'm an obsessive ear cleaner. iPod-Oh music and Internet access, how I love thee! Phone-As much as I hate talking on it, I LOVE being able to text my friends!
F – FAVORITE PAST TIME: Spending time with my friends. Honestly, it doesn't matter what we're doing as long as I get to be with them. The friends I choose to surround myself with are really more like a small family, and I love them with every piece of me.
G – GOOD AT: Making people feel comfortable, they tend to open up and talk to me. I'm also good at writing letters, and would much prefer to tell someone who I feel via written word than spoken. I'm good at making my friends laugh, and being there for them when they really need me. Also, yesterday I learned that I'm good at being around to remind Josh that he's sexy. Y'all should head on over and tell him how sexy he is! Hehe!
H – HAVE NEVER TRIED: Rocky Mountain Oysters, Frog Legs, or that Marrow thing Josh is always drooling over. However, as weird as it sounds, they are all on the list of upcoming things to try at least once. I've also never tried Skydiving, but I'm not so sure that's a top priority.
I – IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: I would pay off all of my debt and my families debt. Then I would invest in a townhouse/condo and move my future roomie and me into it! I would buy a newer car that runs better, and I would take some time off work to start writing novels. You see, I'm smart enough to know that a Million Dollars wont last forever, but it will last well beyond the time it would take me to get some best sellers out there!
K – KINDRED SPIRIT: Most of my friends are family to me, however there are a few that stick out more as kindred spirits. Don't get me wrong, I consider so many my "best" friends, and don't pick favorites, but there are three that would stand out to me as actually having kindred souls that connect with mine. The first would be Josh. There is something about that boy that will keep me forever close to him (or wanting to be) and there are days when he is the only person in the entire world I feel like I can talk to. Also Kristina, because Kristina and I are so alike sometimes that it's scary, and we are so close in our understanding of each other I have nothing but love for her. Max has to be considered a kindred spirit, because there is something about him that keeps me pulling him back into my life no matter how far apart we get. I am so grateful to feel so painfully close to these people, it's a beautiful thing.

L – LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I don't know if there is anything that's little known really... I'm a pretty open book with everyone... Maybe that I keep a paper journal with all my most intimate thoughts?
M – MEMORABLE MOMENT: There was this party last year, and it was one of the first times I partied with the whole group of friends that I now call family, but it was somewhere in that moment when it hit me: I was home. These people came into my life, and it was as if they filled something that was missing there. I feel loved and happy and whole when I look back on it, and I'm eternally grateful to know them! It is etched into my brain as one of the happiest nights of my life.

N – NEVER AGAIN WILL I: Let myself be used or mislead. Even if it was unintentional before, I am set that I will never let myself get yanked around again. Whether it comes to getting a job, or falling in love, I am in charge of my own destiny and no one can make me wait around for what will never happen.
O – OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: Pie. This is actually a Kristina & Me thing... We get in the mood where we want to sit around and watch girly flicks and eat Marie Calendar's Pie. Yum!
P – PROFESSION: Technical Support Representative for a company that does software for taxes. Although technically I'm a seasonal worker, I am confident that I have a real shot this year at staying permanently. I really like my job, and I'm making friends with coworkers this year! I love it!
Q – QUOTE: "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." (from 'Letters To A Young Poet') - Rainer Maria Rilke
R – REASON TO SMILE: I have the worlds greatest friends, I have a job in a struggling economy, I have a roof over my head (even if it's temporary), I am alive and healthy... Forget everything negative going on, if I can stop for a minute and remember the optimism lurking within me, I can smile... Even if it's only for a second.

S – SORRY ABOUT: I'm sorry that I was a bad friend, and let my own self doubt get in the way of helping. I doubted my own ability to do something or to help, so I put it off and now I'm seeing someone I love very much still going through something that I could have helped... I'm sorry that not believing in myself has backlash on those around me. I'm sorry that I can't make up my mind as to what I want. I'm sorry that I'm not around as much as people would like. I'm sorry that my love is not enough...
T -THINGS THAT ARE WORRYING YOU RIGHT NOW: I worry about my friends, and their happiness, as I want nothing more than to see them happy and content. I worry about money, and finding a place to live. I'm worried about my grandmother losing her house and the home I've known since I was a small child. I worry about losing my job after the end of tax season.
U – UNINTERESTED IN: Sports don't interest me at all. Also, people who bring drama wherever they go, I just don't have much of a tolerance for it.
V – VERY SCARED OF: Losing those closest to me.
W – WORST HABITS: Self doubt, Over-analyzing EVERYTHING, jumping to conclusions, procrastination.
X – X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: Europe. Really anywhere in Europe, because I want to see it all. I'm really looking forward to Croatia, France, Ireland and the UK the most though!
Y – YUMMIEST DESSERT: Cheesecake is generally my all time favorite, but there are a few exceptions, depending on my mood.
Z – ZODIAC SIGN: Aries, and boy do I live up to it. I am headstrong and foolhardy, as well as passionate and driven. I'm compassionate, and have a fierce need to protect and defend my friends and family. Also, I rather enjoy being the center of attention. Yes, I'm admitting it.

WHAT ARE THE ABC’S OF YOU?

RTT: My Dog's Eyeball Popped Out & Day 11

His. Eye. Popped. Out. Hard to believe, right? This is my parent's dog Tanner, who we've had for nearly 10 years. This is the little yappy dog who came to be my baby brother's dog, but fell madly in love with me and ended up following me around. The little ball of fur that is over-protective and jealous if I bring a boyfriend home. I don't live with them anymore, but he's always super excited to see me when I visit.


The vet said that sometimes little dogs can build up pressure in their head, and they weren't sure they'd be able to save the eye. However after going in for surgery, they said the eye looks good and they put it back in his head and sewed his eyelid shut for it to heal.


Yeah, that picture is really really gross.

***

On another note, it's looking a little gloomy outside today... There are patches of blue sky peaking through the clouds, but I'm really hoping the gloomy takes and the color disappears. Does that sound negative? It's not-so-much negativity, as the rain always makes me happy. Something about the water pouring down and the dark tint to the sky always cheers me up and sets my spirits soaring higher... It's always so refreshing as well as cleansing... It's funny how when life starts to feel a little complicated I ache for the rain to come and wash it all away...

Maybe if I get a little downpour, it'll be able to clear my thoughts and help me figure out what I want right now, and the best way to go about getting it.

***

I'm cursing my impulsive Aries fire today. I'm so foolhardy which leads to me rushing foolishly into things before I fully think them through. I overreact, even when I keep it to myself, and that often leads to over correction on my part. I'm not going to explain further, because this is something I kind of have to figure out for myself, but I will just say one more time: Damn my impulsive foolish Aries self!

***

On another note, my coworker just told me that the movie Paranormal Activity was terrible. Go figure, it kind of looked like it would be... Guess I wont worry about seeing that in the theatres... Anyone know of anything scary that's coming out? I'm looking forward to a good Saw marathon in a few weeks... Yay!

***

Awesome Day 11 of my 30 Days of Awesome

So for Awesome Day 11, it wasn't incredibly awesome... I wanted out of the house so I met Max at Carls Jr. and we had dinner and then wandered around Heebeegeebees and looked at comic books and games. Then he came over and we played more games! We played the Pimp game, where you slap your hos and try to mack on them... Then we played Stoneage again. That part was pretty awesome!

***

Anyway, I'm loving Fall. Thought I'd share. Loves to you all!