MM: A Girl, A Boy, & a Graveyard

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This week's song:

A Girl, A Boy, and a Graveyard

by Jeremy Messersmith

Lucy takes the long way home

Meets me in a field of stone

She says "I don't know how I"m supposed to feel

My body is cold, my guts are twisted steel.

And I feel like I'm some kind of Frankenstein

Waiting for a shock to bring me back to life

But I don't want to spend my time

Waiting for lightening to strike"

So underneath the concrete sky

Lucy puts her hand in mine

She says "life's a game we're meant to lose.

Stick by me and I'll stick by you.

I'm like a princes in a castle high

Waiting for a kiss to bring me back to life

But I don't want to spend my time

Waiting for just another guy"

***

I heard this song on The United States of Tara the other day and immediately had to pull out my Shazam app and find out what it was.  The bolded lines above are what hooked me and after listening to it a few times I really fell in love with it.  So sweet, and sad-with a pretty little melody.

What are you listening to this week?

I Confess

I Confess That I'm trying to get my Etsy store submitted to Heartsy to run a super sweet deal on things.  If you haven't already, could you do me a favor and go vote for my shop?  They need more "Yes, Definitely" votes in order to approve it.

I Confess that sweet Jessica from The Landlady Diaries totally made my week by sending me a sweet surprise package.  It had two glitter skeletons that she made for Christmas, some mixed CDs to brighten my day, a picture frame, a sweet card, cute nail polish, a candle, and a candle holder that matches the cute little tray I got from Mamarazzi's Favorite color swap a while back.  Awesome!

I Confess that it was just the thing I needed in a week that has been hellish.  It's been super busy/stressful at work, and I'm beyond exhausted and not feeling well.  I'm so over it.  TGIF!

I Confess that I learned from Impulsive Addict that to burn off the calories from just one single M&M you need to walk the entire length of a football field.  I still have a bag in my drawer I haven't been able to even look at since then...

I Confess that I"m kind of over Facebook and the drama it brings... I doubt I'll ever get over it completely, but good god people-you don't need to post every complaint you have.  It's OK once in a while, we all feel those feeling sometimes and just need to vent-but let's put some positive into the world! Let's make other people feel happy just knowing us and seeing our statuses.  And by all means, the passive aggressive status attacks need to DIE!  Seriously.

I Confess that you should read this flow chart if you aren't sure whether you are wearing pants or not.  It's very informative.  Huzzah, I'm probably wearing pants.

Source: buzzfeed.com via Angela on Pinterest

I Confess that I heard Moshe Kasher on the radio in the car this morning, and laughed soooo hard!  He did this bit about how he has deaf parents and his mother had to type on the computer for the operator to call him as a teenager, it went something like this:

• Deep voiced operator:  Hello son.
• Moshe: GOD?!?!?!
• Deep voiced operator: No, it's your momma, how are you dear?"
• Moshe: Mom?  You're a black man?

I laughed so hard, I need to check out more of his work now.  He's funny.

What do you have to confess?

27 Years!

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful parents!

If it weren't for this day 27 years ago, I wouldn't exist!

The above picture is from the only family photos we've ever done.

I was about 12 or 13 in the photo (I'm guessing, it's been a long time.)

We all look like such babies, and look how adorable Ry is there in the front.

I love my parents, and I'm proud of them for sticking it out thick and thin.

And for still loving each other after all of this time.

Psychology of Color

Source: Uploaded by user via Angela on Pinterest

Thought this was interesting enough to share! 

Happy Thursday!

Happy List

My roommate is the greatest.

He's my best friend, and lately we've been closer than ever.

Talking, sympathizing, and generally just spending quality time with each other.

I love him dearly, and am extremely grateful to have him in my life.

Kristina & Courtney came to visit last weekend.
They came down for the Chinese New Year party and it was so good to see them!
Kristi is pregnant, and I'm soooo happy for her-and little Court is growing up.
Quality time with these great ladies is awesome!

 Gong Hey Fat Choy

It's the year of the Dragon folks, and for that-I'm HAPPY!

The year of the Tiger sucked, and the year of the rabbit was frustrating.

I mean there were good things both years, but overall they weren't the greatest.

I have a feeling this year is going to be better.

Source: Uploaded by user via Laura on Pinterest

No-drama friends.
I'm grateful for those friends of mine who are stress free.
Who cheer me up and never tear me down. Soooo grateful!
Shawn looked at me yesterday and says "If friends are hateful-they're not your friends."
So true.

Game night tonight!
We're going over to Shawn and Justin's for Game night!
A nice drama/stress free relaxing game night!

The snake is healing.
She ate yesterday, and her wounds seem to be healing up.
I'm still soaking and her and putting on cream but at least there isn't anymore shots!

What are you happy about this week?

MM: Human Punching Bag

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This week's song:

Human Punching Bag
by M. Ward

***

I feel like an emotional punching bag.

I understand that I'm not perfect, that I can make mistakes or sometimes be thoughtless when I speak, but I never do anything with bad intention.  I never set out to hurt someone, or specifically try not to be there for anyone.  I care, I really do-and I try to show that as much as possible.  But I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes-I'm human.

Most of the time, I'm not really aware that I made a mistake or hurt anyone's feelings-and if someone felt slighted by me I'd expect them to do the adult thing and tell me so we can address the matter.  I can't take it when someone just decides everything I have ever done is wrong and sets out to give me a massive emotional beating tearing me down and telling me every little thing they think is wrong with me.  Usually this comes with a complete disregard for anything I've ever done in the past that was good or the fact that there was no bad intention to begin with.  

It seems a lot that they save everything from their lives up and explode all over me without even taking the time to acknowledge that I have a side to the story, and that I may or may not have done what they're accusing me of.

My closest friends have discussed it with me and try to convince me it's not all me, and people are just taking out everything (regardless of whether it has anything to do with me or not) on me-and I take it instead of trying to protect myself. I take it because I feel like they need me to.  They need to de-stress, or they're grieving and need an outlet-so I swallow my pride and push self-defense to the side and simply say "I'm sorry." 

But I can't take it anymore. I'm only human, I make mistakes and will own up to what I can, but I have no more strength for the continual emotional beatings I take.  I'm done.  I don't love anyone any less, but I'm no longer going to accept being the punching bag, or hold onto the stress that these occasions bring.  It's not fair to myself.

For now, I need to just step back and breath and try to heal from all of these bruises.  Luckily, I have a few really amazing people in my life that have offered kind words and loving hugs that have helped in more ways than they know.  To them, I am ever grateful for their love and support.

What are you listening to and why?

Link up! 

So Much to Confess...

I Confess...
I've decided to start offering custom beanies and scarves on my Etsy Store!  So far I have more examples of beanies... Want one?  I'd be happy to make you one!  See prices, options (though I'm open to more than are listed), more pictures, and even place an order HERE.  (you can also email me or leave a comment requesting one if you don't want to order through Etsy.)

My gorgeous sister played model here.

I Confess...
Another blogger sent me an invite to join Superpoints, and though I've never really been interested in anything like this before, it's been interesting to learn.  She's made $500 in the last six months on it, and I like making money on the internet! You can take surveys, or complete tasks for points-and they add up so that you can get prizes or cash with them.  One simple one is joining Netflix for 700 points-if you want Netflix anyway-that's easy! I've mostly just been seeing surveys.

Let me know if you want an invite! I can reach Gold status if I can get to people to simply sign up! (it doesn't spam you or anything.)

I Confess...
This also led me to find RewardTV which is mostly surveys about movies and tv, and it's super generous with points!

I Confess...
The snake thing is stressing me out.  Her belly was red again yesterday and I worry that she's still getting too warm in her house.  My Rheostat came in finally so I'm playing with adjusting the temperature, but it's still so difficult! Also, I'm glad there's only 2 more shots left-I'm so done with the needle part!

I Confess...
I found out I can't actually get a house until after June, so that's being pushed back.  I had my numbers wrong before... Oh well.

I Confess...
This week has been long and draining, and I'm damn glad it's Friday because I need a break!

I Confess...
I have a party I'm throwing tomorrow, but have done nothing to prepare.  I pretty much forgot about it until yesterday.  Oh well, I'll figure something out.

I Confess...
Even though he and I are not friends anymore due to the blowout in December, when I heard that my ex/ex-friend had experienced heartbreaking tragedy-it was my instinct to jump in and help as much as I could.  I realize I can't-and so I avoided messaging/texting him to offer help and just told his sister-in-law that if they needed help I would be more than happy to.  Us not being friends anymore doesn't change the fact that I care about him, love his kids more than anything, and think what happened was horrible.

I Confess...
I like animals more than people.  I think that people who do anything bad to animals should have the same done to them or worse.  The above mentioned tragedy was that his neighbor fed his dog rat poison.  She was one of the sweetest and mild-mannered dogs ever.  The kind that actually gives Pitbulls a better name because she was nothing but love and sweetness and as timid as it gets.  Come to find out that jerk has poisoned at least 2 other dogs in the neighborhood.  So terrible.  Why do people do things like this?

Last I heard they were giving her $700 in transfusions to try and save her life, but weren't sure it would actually work.  So heartbreaking.

She really is the sweetest dog.

I Confess...
I don't want to end on a sad note, so here's something to brighten you back up and make you smile:

Source: Uploaded by user via Angela on Pinterest

What are you confessing this week?

Word of the Year: Simplify

I know I already posted about my goal to live more simply this year, but when I saw the prompt to pick a word for 2012 over at Art @ Home I had to join in.  The Lettered Cottage has encouraged us to pick a word for 2012 and link-up.

via

My word is Simplify.

via Dictionary.com: [sim-pluh-fahy]

To make less complicated, clearer, or easier.

I think that too often in life we make things more complicated than they need to be.  Why does everything have to be this constant uphill battle we keep trying to win but never seem to?  That's just silly.  My goal this year is to simplify my life-that means cutting out battles, drama, and as many complications as possible.

My 2012 Goals for Living More Simpy:

• De-Junk.  My life is always so cluttered.  I find I have drawers stuffed full, closets stuffed, too much dirty laundry, too much storage.  Why am I still hanging onto these things that I never seem to need enough to make it worth it?  I'm done.  I'm getting rid of the stuff that doesn't matter.  This includes people who make life difficult all the time or don't care about me in return.
• Organize.  For the stuff that does matter, I'm going to work harder to keep it all in order so that it doesn't ever feel like it's getting out of hand.  When it comes to craft supplies and my clothes, I need a lot of help in this area.  When I move in a few months, this will be a great place to restart with all my organization!
• Avoid Gossip.  I try to avoid gossip, but let's face it-even those of us who try to avoid it can be caught talking about people, or listening to rumors, etc.  I'm going to avoid those as much as possible.  
• Speak Kindly.  If I do feel the need to talk about people, I'm going to limit to kind things.  If I care about someone then I should only say loving and caring things both to their faces, and when speaking about them.  I would want people to speak kindly about me.
• Complain Less.  We all do it, but really dwelling on those things not only brings the people around me that have to listen to it down, but it brings me down as well! Enough!
• Love More.  Love is one of the most simple human emotions.  I think we complicate it when most of the time we should simply let it be.  I want to spread more love to my friends, my family, my pets, and really anyone I meet.
• Listen More.  Speak less.
• Do things I love. Crafting, reading, relaxing, hiking, communing with nature, dreaming, doing, etc.
• Spend more time with people who matter.  This means making a greater effort to attend social events even when I get anxious and just want to hermit away, being there to support friends as much as possible, visiting people I don't see as much, sending letters/emails to people I miss, etc.
• Just Be.  Perhaps one of the most important goals.  I need to stress less about trying to be things I'm not (improvement excluded) and about making everyone happy all the time.  No one is perfect.  I can improve but never reach perfection, so stressing about it is not going to help.  I need to love myself, forgive myself, and take some of the worry and weight off of my shoulders.  All I can do is just be.

What is your word for 2012?

Source: rougeamour.tumblr.com via Angela on Pinteres

STOP SOPA & PIPA

Today is blackout day around the internet world.
It's time to take a stand against SOPA & PIPA
I'm taking a stand today as well.

Let's stand up to Congress and let them know that we cannot be bullied.
We will not be silenced.  We will not allow our liberty to be taken away.
We are America, and we were founded on major principles that no lawmaker should be allowed to disarm.

Educate yourself.

What Are SOPA and PIPA And Why All The Fuss? by Forbes

Take a stand!

Join the Strike!

Sign Google's petition to stop SOPA & PIPA

Change your Facebook & Twitter badges.

Call your senator! (Will connect you with one click)

Tweet About It! Use #SOPASTRIKE & #BLACKOUTSOPA

See more: http://www.BlackoutSOPA.org/MySoCalledChaos

Shared Happiness

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I am happy that I got to help a friend's friend out with his art project.  You should all check it out, you could be a part of it too! All he needs is a picture of you, a picture that you think is beautiful, and one sentence that describes why you think it's beautiful.  Check out the details HERE.

I am happy that today I get to go cash my check and then see about getting a secured credit card so I can start rebuilding my credit and hopefully buy a house in a few months.

I am happy that yesterday was a paid holiday and I earned double what I would normally make.

I am happy that this little girl is starting to perk up a little better.  Her wound doesn't really look much better, other than it's not oozing or swollen anymore, but she seems to be a little more active when I pull her out.

She was totally pouting here though.  She hates the needle.

I am happy that the roommate's mom gave me this adorable cardigan, which is flattering to my figure and looks great with the belt I stole from my dress.  I look pretty cute today.

I am happy that the roommate and I cooked dinner together last night, and it turned out really really yummy. 

Steamed Chicken with Chili & Cilantro Butter over Coconut rice with pickled veggies.

I am happy that I get to write in this blog and have wonderful readers like all of you! :)

What is making you happy this week?

MM: Thanks For Your Time

Before we get to Musical Mondays this week, The Girl With the Blue Bow is featuring little old me on her blog this morning! Please run over and tell her thank you for me, and say hi! :) Who knows, you could get featured if you start following her-she's such a doll! :)



***
Now, on with the Music!
Create a post, grab my button and link up for some fun! :)

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This week's song:

Thanks For Your Time

by Gotye

***

 The roommate introduced me to this Gotye song since we've become so obsessed with Somebody I Used to Know.   Working in Customer Service/Technical Support, I just think this song is soooo perfect, and wish I could convince my work to change our hold music to it! How fun would that be?  Hope you enjoy it! 

What are you listening to?

Link-Up!

Worrying Like a Momma

My snake is home from the vet finally!

It's very unnerving trying to nurse her back to health.

We have to give her shots for 7 more days.

Soak her twice a day, and then put cream on her burns.

I'm worrying 24/7 about this.

Is she too cold?  Is she too hot? What if she burns herself again?

I check her cage every hour right now to make sure the temp is right and it's clean.

We gave her the first shot today.

I held her as still as I could as my roommate stuck the needle it.

She jerked (she's stronger than she looks) and it went a little deeper than I expected.

I burst into tears.  What if it injured her?  What if we punctured something?

Ugh! I'm so worried about my baby-I feel like a real momma right now.

Please excuse me, I have to go check on her again...

Race to the Moon

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cafe Well for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

Who of you have heard of Cafe Well?  I hadn't before, but now that I'm looking into it I'm finding that it seems to be a really great thing! 

What is it?  It's a social networking option that offers corporate wellness programs that actually work.  

Having not heard of Cafe Well myself before, I googled it and found a bunch of other bloggers talking about it and how they wanted to use it to complete their New Years resolutions, and get fit.  They seemed genuinely excited about the experience.

I went to their website and found this mission statement: Caféwell was created to provide a safe, secure and anonymous health care destination that connects you with other people who share your health care interests and needs. Caféwell is the only destination that exists for one reason "health." The Caféwell Community is there to address your needs, from chronic condition support, to healthy lifestyle tips and challenges. CaféWell understands how complex and difficult the health care system is to navigate. We make it easy to get the health information you need, when and where you want it.

That seems really awesome.

Their biggest project right now is called Race to the Moon, a project that aims to get members more fit by providing wireless pedometers that monitor their steps when walking or running and rewards them for certain milestones and accomplishments.  Many companies offer similar structures, but show little accomplishment with the program-while tests with Race to the Moon and Cafe Well show some users taking over 50 million steps in less than a month.  It's impressive.  At this time only Health America members are eligible for Race to the Moon.

It would be really cool to get this implemented in my office, challenging people to not only lose weight but always take the stairs, park further from the building so they walk more, and to exercise daily.  The benefits of walking on your health are amazing, and the self esteem boost as you start to see it working is even better.  I feel inspired now!

Confessions: Houses, Pets & Mom

I Confess...
When I saw this picture on Facebook, I wanted to adopt one of these puppies so badly! Especially little Ruby! I then decided that I wanted a pit bull someday, so I have to buy a place that allows me that option.  The condos I love do not.

I Confess...
I hate HOAs.  Sure, it's nice that they will do some of your maintenance for you, espeically in a condo/townhouse situation where they handle the lawn, the snow removal, etc.  But I don't particularly like that they can tell me what I can do in my own home and charge me an extra $200 a month for it.  Screw that.  Now I'm looking at actual houses to buy.

If you're in Utah, or nearby-those babies are all for adoption through the Tooele Animal Shelter.  They need forever homes.

I Confess...
It's really hard to tell your male boss that you need to leave early because you got stuck at your desk and now it looks like a murder scene in your pants...

I Confess...
I feel like a bad pet mommy.  It was only a few weeks ago my poor ratties died (a dog-related accident) and then Wednesday night I came home and got my snake out to feed her and found she had a massive infection on her stomach that wasn't there a week and a half ago.  :( This week has been so crazy, I should have gotten her our sooner to play with her but I put it off.

I burst into tears and immediately called the vet and set up an appointment for Thursday morning.  I took her in and the Vet (who wasn't very nice, but I think maybe she's one of those people who are better with animals than people-either that or she thought I was a horrible owner) ran some tests and concluded that she'd somehow been burned on her undertank heater and then it got infected really quickly.

Since snakes can become septic really quickly, she recommended that we hospitalize her for a couple of days so they could treat her, and then I'd be sent home with injections to give her for an additional 8-10 days.  Luckily it was only about $120 for everything including the hospitalization, so I left her there and went home to bleach everything in her cage.  :(  My poor baby.

I Confess...
I feel bad for not knowing some of the things that I'm supposed to be doing with her.  Apparently I'm supposed to soak her for 30 minutes a day since the Utah weather is so dry, and create a moist moss hide for her when she's shedding that she can sit in.  I had no idea... Luckily the vet gave me a pamphlet for better husbandry and I can improve her care.  I feel like such a bad pet mom.

I Confess...
It was my mother's birthday yesterday, and she's one of the best mothers in the entire world.  Happy birthday momma, I love you!

I Confess...
She's asked me that when I get my house and pick up my cat, I take the little baby one that looks like her too (it's not hers, but they get along well and will cuddle together) to decrease her crazy cat lady population and keep them together.  I agreed to.

That annoyed look on her face? Trademark Emma.

I Confess...
When searching for the above picture, I found this one that describes my cat so perfectly.

She loves little random spaces, as long as she has a sunny window!

I Confess...
I'm getting more excited to have a house.  Though I'm still nervous about the whole process...

Confessing is good for the soul, what are you confessing?

Direction

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The difference a few weeks can make is astounding.  So far in the first two weeks of January I've made more decisions and set more plans in motion than ever before, and the drastic change that has occurred in me since as recently as a month ago is surprising.

I am a self-proclaimed procrastinator.  I have things I want and things I hope for, but I end up playing the wishing game... "I wish I had this"  or "It'd be nice to do that" and while that's all well and good to hope for things, they never become tangible if you don't actually start moving in that direction.  A month ago I was dealing with finding a new car after my accident, letting go of old friends that didn't belong in my life any longer, and just trying to make it to the new year without having a mental breakdown.

Now, I find myself determined and with a plan.  A plan that requires me to stand up and take action and leave my procrastinating ways in the dust.  Surprisingly, I do not have one ounce of desire to put it off.  I feel filled with ambition and the desire to act now!  It's kind of a wonderful feeling.

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I called a mortgage broker yesterday who was recommended by a coworker who recently bought a house.  I was nervous, and didn't expect to get approved because I had low expectations of my credit score due to mistakes I'd made when I was young and foolish.  Luckily, the score was better than I expected and the one thing that is bring it down too low is something I'm already fixing and should be removed from the report in April/May.

While I can't get approved just now, the broker is confident that come May, we should have no problem providing I complete the following tasks:

• Stay on track with my current plan to make my student loans current.
• Get a credit card that I use to make one charge each month, and pay it off each month too.

That way I'm building good and healthy credit, and will hopefully have my score raised in time to look for a place this Spring/Summer.  I figure since I'm month to month in my current apartment, I can just stay here until then and look for a place to buy when I'm ready.

I've also decided to go back to school this fall for Technical Writing.  I already do a lot of it for work and figured that a degree in the matter would further my career and let me do what I love (writing) while also staying in a job market that can keep me employed (technology) and seems steady.  

These changes all feel so very grown up, which is both exciting and scary.  In any case, I have a plan and that makes me HAPPY.  

I always figured I'd buy a house when I got married or settled down someday and had someone else to do some of the work with me, but now I'm just going to go out there and do it on my own.  Who needs a man, right?  I am woman, hear me roar.

With my luck, just as I get it all figured out for myself, is when I'll meet someone...  Ha! 

So I'm happy that I have a plan, and the motivation to stick it through.  :)

MM: No More Drama

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This week's song:

No More Drama

by Mary J. Blige 

***

I am so very beyond too old for drama.

***

What's your song this week?

Link-Up!