Skip to about 0:49 to get to the song and skip the boob talk-or listen to it. It's funny. I wanted to share the version from their Netflix show, but embedding is turned off for it. The show is funny-you should totally check it out.
This week's song:
29/31
by Garfunkel and Oats
Note: There is some minimal adult language so if it bothers you skip it. :)
29-For the first time in my life I see it clearly, I realize the power of being a woman
29 years old and time's on my side, I'm in my prime, I've hit my stride
I've got so much charisma and so many options, It's nice to always have my pick
31-THERE'S NOBODY LEFT, I'M ALL ALONE
29-I'm at the top of my game, possibilities are endless, and I just feel really pretty
I'm holding out for someone who meets my standards, wont settle for anything less than perfect
I know what I want and I can have it, I'm surrounded by love and peace
31-THERE'S NOBODY LEFT, I'M ALL ALONE
Why did I wait? What's wrong with me? In two short years I'm gonna be 33-who the hell will want me then?
My ovaries are shrinking I'm disgusting and everyone feels bad for me, and I never get invited to dinner parties anymore
29-Things unfold when they're supposed to 'cause everything happens for a reason
It'll happen for me when I'm not even looking-he'll just appear and I'll just know
And he'll love me forever without any work, who needs to try when things are meant to be?
31-THERE'S NOBODY LEFT-I'M ALL ALONE
29-I'm a catch just look at me, I'm smart and hot and have lots of interests
31-YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT
29-The man of my dreams is definitely out there
31-YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SPECIAL BECAUSE PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT NOW
29-He is my future, he's the one, and he has perfect looks
31-BUT THAT WILL STOP AND BE REPLACED WITH LOOKS OF PITY
29-My life's complete, the world is a buffet of love - a lalalalalalalala
31-Oh what, you think biological reality doesn't apply to you and your adorable cocoon of agelessness?
Well it does. While you're just waiting around and focusing on you GUESS WHAT?
YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR F*CKING WINDOW!
29-Everything happens for a reason, you know I truly believe that
31-Yeah you said that before
29-Oh my god it does though, everything happens for a reason
31-What about the Haitian earthquake or cellulite on skinny women?
29-Just say 'Hey Universe I'm ready' it'll happen when you least expect it
31-Well I don't expect it at all now so I guess it's right around the corner
29-Maybe you're putting out the wrong vibes, maybe you're closed off to love
Let me tell you a secret, it's called the secret
31-Here's another secret, you're an a**hole.
29-Your negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy the reason things go well for me is because of positivity
31-Well I'm positive fertility always begins to atrophy when infantile fantasy eclipses true reality
29-It never once occurred to me that things wont work out perfectly
When god closes a door you see he opens a window
31-You realize that's a smaller opening right?
You used to be able to walk out a door and now you have to climb out some slightly ajar window somewhere
Possibly falling like eight stories to your death? That is not an upgrade.
You know what else?
31-THERE'S NOBODY LEFT
29-Seven billion people on the planet my options will never end
31-I'M ALL ALONE!
29-I'm so happy, all the way happy, I'm so happy 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-You can't love someone else until you love yourself 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-You can't love someone else until you love yourself 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-I'm so happy, all the way happy, I'm so happy 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-You can't love someone else until you love yourself 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-You can't love someone else until you love yourself 31-AAAHHHHHH!
29-Because life is good/31-Over







