Musical Mondays: Secrets

Well, I've put myself out there again.  I mean I've had dating sites active again for a while now (remember when I deleted all of my dating profiles?) but I haven't been actively responding or attempting to meet people.  This weekend I changed my mind.  I logged in, I replied to a few people, and I even struck up a conversation with someone who seems really interesting-someone who I'm actually interested in meeting.  

If you go by history, or the version of the "rules" for dating that everyone else seems to follow, this is where the games begin.  This is where you tone down who you are until a few dates in, you resist texting or calling so that you will have the power (or at least not look like a clingy freak), and where you start batting your eyelashes like some damsel that's just waiting on her knight in shining armor.  

Well, I'm over it. 

I'm not playing.  I like games with cards, and dice, and little plastic figures you move around a board.  I do not like games where the pawns are people and you're pitting emotions against trust.  No fun.  Sure, there can be an amount of excitement that makes dating like a game, but why does it have to be a delusional game?  Why does it have to be the kind of game where the only moves you make have the intent to fool someone?  Dating should not be about suckering someone into liking you before you show them your true self and just hope they deal with it.  

So I'm just going to be.  I'm going to be honest, I'm going to text if I want to, and I'm going to say what I want to say.  If someone doesn't like that me, I'm not going to try and trick them into liking a fake me before I reveal it.  They can just move on.  I don't want to be with someone who plays those games with me, so why would I play them with them?  

This week's song:

Secrets

by Mary Lambert

I've got bipolar disorder, my shits not in order

I'm overweight, I'm always late, I've got too many things to say

I rock mom jeans, cat earrings, extrapolate my feelings

My family is dysfunctional but we have a good time killing each other

They tell us from the time we're young

To hide the things that we don't like about ourselves inside ourselves

I know I'm not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else

Well I'm over it

I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are

I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are

So what. So what. So what.

I can't think straight, I'm so gay, sometimes I cry the whole day

I care a lot, use an analog clock, and never know when to stop

And I'm passive aggressive, I'm scared of the dark and the dentist

I love my butt and won't shut up, and I never really grew up

They tell us from the time we're young

To hide the things that we don't like about ourselves inside ourselves

I know I'm not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else

Well I'm over it

I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are

I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are

So what. So what. So what.

(repeat x3)

<a href="http://www.mysocalledchaos.com/search/label/Musical%20Mondays" target="blank"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtV_QpFuWBTwQpTCc7Em7jiVq3BuJNTezvriGP4loOKnoXMiFwZDw6ALEWjpQEnPKkrCx8OiyOvKnv2NLAUTGqO4Hn9gOlsd4Nor5UZo-V1r7oJmiivpnKAyRwYwT5eXlui8JBFkybxUJN/s1600/MMNewButton.jpg" alt="Musical Mondays at My So-Called Chaos></a>

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