What is Musical Mondays?
Musical Mondays is a weekly linky party where we share a song we're into for the week, and talk about why we like it-or why it effects us. Along with talking about music, I host a month-long music related giveaway sponsored by wonderful people! July is sponsored by Joanna Marie Art who is giving away a musical makeover for an old pair of shoes for you! I'll explain more later in this post-let's get to the music.
This week's song:
1000 Times
by Sara Bareilles
Back of the room, lookin' at you
Counting the steps between us
A hundred and five little blades in a line from your skin to mine
And I feel it...
Eyes on the ground, but I can't look up now
Don't wanna give it away-my secret...
In another life my teeth and tongue
Speak aloud what until now I've only sung
'Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
You can make me wait forever
Push me away, and tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
(Hey Hey)
Kiss me goodnight like a good friend might
And I'll do the same, but wont mean it...
'Cause love is a cage,
These words on a page carry the pain
They don't free it...
In another life I wouldn't need to
Console myself as I resign to release you
'Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
You can make me wait forever
Push me away, and tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
Again, again I let it go, let it go
Cover my mouth don't let a single word slip out
Wouldn't wanna tell you no, tell you no
Nothing could be worse than the risk of losing what I don't have
I'm weaker by the minute though
Is it so bad if I wanna cry out?
I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry almost every time
But I don't mind, no I don't mind it
I would come back a thousand times
Make me wait forever
Push me away, tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
I would come back a thousand times
(Hey-yeah, hey yeah)
I would come back a thousand times
What are you listening to this week?
I'm in Seattle still, but as soon as I'm back I'll be by to check it out!
Please make sure you grab the button or link back if you're linking up.
This week's song:
1000 Times
by Sara Bareilles
Back of the room, lookin' at you
Counting the steps between us
A hundred and five little blades in a line from your skin to mine
And I feel it...
Eyes on the ground, but I can't look up now
Don't wanna give it away-my secret...
In another life my teeth and tongue
Speak aloud what until now I've only sung
'Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
You can make me wait forever
Push me away, and tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
(Hey Hey)
Kiss me goodnight like a good friend might
And I'll do the same, but wont mean it...
'Cause love is a cage,
These words on a page carry the pain
They don't free it...
In another life I wouldn't need to
Console myself as I resign to release you
'Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
You can make me wait forever
Push me away, and tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
Again, again I let it go, let it go
Cover my mouth don't let a single word slip out
Wouldn't wanna tell you no, tell you no
Nothing could be worse than the risk of losing what I don't have
I'm weaker by the minute though
Is it so bad if I wanna cry out?
I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry almost every time
But I don't mind, no I don't mind it
I would come back a thousand times
Make me wait forever
Push me away, tell me never
I don't mind, no I don't mind
I would come back a thousand times
I would come back a thousand times
(Hey-yeah, hey yeah)
I would come back a thousand times
When a song hooks me emotionally I play it over and over until I have every single word memorized. If it makes me cry, I keep it on constant repeat until I haven't any tears left to cry over it. It's my process. I figure if there's something in that song my heart is reacting to then I'd better work through it. It's catharsis. Most of the time I end up analyzing how I'm feeling about the lyrics, or the line, that set me off on that emotional tangent, and then I think about why I'm reacting to the song and let it work through my head until I have the situation figured out enough to make sense of it. Of course, then I share it with you-my amazing readers and friends who often sympathize, relate, or at least care to know.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned this here on the blog before (probably not since he can read it-whether he does not I don't know-I don't ask) but a part of me really loves Mr.Bingo. We met in October and something clicked, which happens so rarely these days that I relish when it does. He was honest with me from the start, and then I got caught up in the time we spent together-I really enjoyed time with him. Then I visited and had an amazing escape in November, and in December I asked him if it was going anywhere. He said no.
Since then we've talked on and off and seen each other a few times. The last time I was there I caught myself in the game, acknowledging that I was playing pretend-and I accepted that. There was a moment when I was with him and I simultaneously thought "I love this guy" and "I need to go home and meet someone that will love me back." It was eye-opening because I don't think I've ever felt like that about anyone. It was healthier.
To be able to feel love for someone and not expect anything in return has been a good experience for me. There have been ups and downs-moments where I got lost in the emotion and felt sad or longing and there have been moments where I didn't feel or think much of it at all. It's those moments when I'm wishing for more that I find interesting, because instead of feeling sad about it I have more often than not turned around and said to myself "It's ok, there'll be another" or "In time you'll meet someone new, and you'll move on" and I'm impressed with my ability to understand that it's not the end of the line just because one relationship is fated to end. Brilliant.
This song made me think of him, but all the while I was repeating it and singing loudly along with it in the car I knew in the back of my mind-she says a thousand times, and while she may say "make me wait forever" she always says "I would come back a thousand times" which is a definite number. It's not infinity. You come back as many times as you need to, be it three or a thousand, and then you move forward. I don't know when it will end, just that it probably will, and that I will always have a special place in my heart for this lesson I have learned and the teacher who honestly taught me.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned this here on the blog before (probably not since he can read it-whether he does not I don't know-I don't ask) but a part of me really loves Mr.Bingo. We met in October and something clicked, which happens so rarely these days that I relish when it does. He was honest with me from the start, and then I got caught up in the time we spent together-I really enjoyed time with him. Then I visited and had an amazing escape in November, and in December I asked him if it was going anywhere. He said no.
Since then we've talked on and off and seen each other a few times. The last time I was there I caught myself in the game, acknowledging that I was playing pretend-and I accepted that. There was a moment when I was with him and I simultaneously thought "I love this guy" and "I need to go home and meet someone that will love me back." It was eye-opening because I don't think I've ever felt like that about anyone. It was healthier.
To be able to feel love for someone and not expect anything in return has been a good experience for me. There have been ups and downs-moments where I got lost in the emotion and felt sad or longing and there have been moments where I didn't feel or think much of it at all. It's those moments when I'm wishing for more that I find interesting, because instead of feeling sad about it I have more often than not turned around and said to myself "It's ok, there'll be another" or "In time you'll meet someone new, and you'll move on" and I'm impressed with my ability to understand that it's not the end of the line just because one relationship is fated to end. Brilliant.
This song made me think of him, but all the while I was repeating it and singing loudly along with it in the car I knew in the back of my mind-she says a thousand times, and while she may say "make me wait forever" she always says "I would come back a thousand times" which is a definite number. It's not infinity. You come back as many times as you need to, be it three or a thousand, and then you move forward. I don't know when it will end, just that it probably will, and that I will always have a special place in my heart for this lesson I have learned and the teacher who honestly taught me.
What are you listening to this week?
I'm in Seattle still, but as soon as I'm back I'll be by to check it out!
Please make sure you grab the button or link back if you're linking up.
You're getting all kinds of mature in your relationships =) I like the song, and I'm glad that it's helping you accept your situation with Mr. Bingo. And you ARE going to find someone awesome who loves you just as much as you love him.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing song. I love it. Music does that for us....the emotions help us deal and grow. Lovely post, my dear. Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteMy post is a bit more lighthearted, but I'm having a crappy AM.
xo,
RJ
You are so very right; music is catharsis. I'll do that with gut-wrenching music, but will also do that for the songs that elicit something happy in me. Like everyone else, I suppose it just all depends on what I need at that time.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I saw The Conjuring Friday and I've been a bit fascinated by that soundtrack. Ryan Gosling - of all people - his band contributed! (And it was surprisingly appropriate for such a movie)
I like visiting a blog and watching a video thanks
ReplyDeleteI like the Behind My Eyes picture https://www.etsy.com/listing/122953398/12x16-canvas-print-behind-my-eyes?ref=shop_home_active
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing with songs lol...I play them over and over regardless of the emotion being good or bad.
ReplyDeleteMusic is life! I really like the http://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/121443419/marvel-avengers-handmade-blank-journal?ref=shop_home_feat
ReplyDeleteI've been listening to Selah Sue lately. :D