Life Updates & Confessions

I got my custom illustration from Fat Babe Designs, and isn't it cute?  I love the watercolor background!

I confess... I bought an iPad.  I've had a hard time justifying the purchase since it's expensive and I already have an iPhone and a laptop.   But my laptopt went wonky and had to go into the shop, and I decided-hey!  I have a disposable income (because I have no kids!) so why the eff not?  I've been loving it-the picture above I drew with a crappy stylus using the Paper by Fifty-Three app.  So cool.

I also got a killer deal... I went for the 32GB one which costs $499, but bought it from Target... I ended up paying $498 out of pocket for the iPad and the case (normally $39.99) plus they gave me a $100 Target gift card with purchase.  So I really only spent $398.  That also included my roommate's employee discount, a 5% discount for signing up for the Red Card, and a 5% discount for letting the employee talk me into buying a case too.  BONUS! 

I confess... A couple of weekends ago I went up and spent the night at Kristina's.  We drove up to Ogden to pick up Courtney from her boyfriend's apartment... Which just so happens to be the same complex as my very first apartment... The apartment I shared with my first boyfriend and then MelanieGrace.  A time so rich in memories that standing there in front of that building looking up at the windows I'd see every day brought waves of nostalgia rushing over me.  It was pretty surreal.

I confess... I like my godkids... They're pretty much the only kids I go out of my way to spend time with (maybe I'm getting old and enjoying being child-free). And just look at baby Kat's mini gelly shoes.  I DIE.

I confess... I've been super tight-lipped about the whole boy/dating thing.  I'm just about ready to tell all-but mostly because it was Frank (you may remember me mentioning him briefly last November) that I let back in my life, and he's already out of it again.  Of course I still have to deal with him since we have friends in common and other stupid life events that I should have never gotten myself into... But let me just say-he turned out to be nothing like what I thought he was.  I'm not even sure "real" nice guys exist-or at least are single anymore.  This adorable little piece of art is by a fab artist and motivational source, Emm Roy.

I confess... I'm so lucky to have some fabulous people who support me in my life.  

I confess... I've been really bad about the gym the last three weeks... I went twice last week.  None yet this week.  UGH.  What is my issue?  I'm failing so hard at the #NOEXCUSES challenge...

I confess... Here's a little sneak peak at a giveaway I have coming up soon.  I'm terrible at painting my nails, but look how pretty these two colors are!  That's Pink! and Punked from Firecracker Lacquer!

Have you seen this?  Oh my goodness.  So clever-watch it now or you're really missing out! 

Linking up with:

Confession Does the Body Good

What you don't think that confession can help your body?  Well, talking things out helps your mind and your feelings, and if your mind and your feelings aren't well it can totally harm your body.  Swallowing stress is no bueno my friends! C'est mal!  (There I'll use English, Spanish, and French all in once paragraph.) Haha! 

In any case, it's time for the weekly Friday Confessional hosted by Aubrey at High-Heeled Love.

I confess... School is almost out and I could not be happier.  I'm so ready for a nice long summer break to recoup and get back to working on my art-and hopefully reopen my Etsy shop.  Also, free time.  I miss it.

I confess... For the last night of French class my classmates and I decided to bring in food.  We even got our professor involved-she brought Boursin and a baguette.  I picked up these amazing pastries (the Almond Croissants are my FAVORITES) from the amazing Pierre Bakery (which is ALSO my favorite.)

I confess... I also picked up some Macarons.  These are pretty Parisian Macarons, even though Josh told me they don't really eat these a lot in France.  They're... Okay... I think they're supposed to be soft and cake-like on the inside but I've only ever had them really hard and crumbly-probably due to the dry climate here.

I confess... The weather has been stunning this week and work has been slow... Add those things to the hormones we women are cursed with once a month (it's coming... dun dun dun!) and that does not make for a very happy me.  I've spent the week with a mixture of bored out of my mind and crazy emotional overthinking-it's not been pretty.  I need to get OUT of this office-Friday definitely did not come soon enough.

I confess... I'm seeing someone... Again.  I haven't talked about it much because for some reason it feels like talking about it too much will ruin it.  Dating is hard on the heart-especially at first.  You spent a lot of time with what Shawn calls "the icks."  That's the anxiety you get-the kind brought on by wondering what the other person is thinking or feeling, if they want you as much as you want them, if it's going to end badly with an ugly messy cry... Again.  lol.  Now go ahead and combine those feelings with the hormones and cabin fever.  Ouch.

I confess... What I'm really trying to do is to learn to let go.  I'm no good at it.  You see I'm very very very direct and to the point.  I state how I'm feeling, I ovary up and go for things, and you always know where you stand with me.  This certain person?  Not so much.  And that's okay.  I can accept people for who they are and like them anyway. But for a person who is super direct, interacting with someone who isn't can be frustrating (the fault of that on the person who is frustrated).  It's a control thing.  You can't control it.   Christina Perri's song "The Words" says "The scariest part is letting go, 'cause love is a ghost you can't control" and I couldn't agree more.  I just keep reminding myself to breathe and let it be what it's going to be.  That's something that will be easier to feel after Aunt Flo leaves town and my emotions can be my own again.  lol

I confess... But I think it's good.  Things seem different this time.  I'm learning patience and patience is a skill I desperately need to grasp.  It's a hard skill to learn, but one that will definitely be worth it if I just give myself up to it and enjoy the ride.  A ride that is no fun if you're always trying to control it and figure it out and stressing about the end of it.  You have to just be present.  Stay here.  Right here.

Do you have anything to confess?  Tell me!

Linking up with:

Confessions, B*tchy Resting Face, & New Sponsor Options

I Confess...
I've been hearing about the Instagram accounts being shut down and I get nervous!  I wonder what that is all about!

I Confess...
I picked up these two pretty journals this week, they look like they'are going to be so fun!

I Confess...
I let myself get too wrapped up in rejection.  Honestly, I really didn't think my date Sunday went too badly... He answered the phone twice, I called him on it and he seemed okay that I called him on it... However when I get nervous I hide behind my humor, so I did tease him quite a bit.  I haven't heard from him since so I am thinking he was too offended.  Which is too bad, as I'd really like to go out again and get the opportunity to be more relaxed and not so nervous!  First dates suck.  I hate them.

I Confess...
I may or may not have drank an entire bottle (or more) of wine Monday night while dealing with what was already pretty sure was rejection.  I thought I had gotten off scott free when I woke up without a hangover, but it hit me around 10am on Tuesday... Not too bad, just queasy and tired.

I Confess...
I may or may not have sent a letter to said guy I went on a date with.  It was such a nice letter though.  I apologized if I offended him, and wished him the best of luck if I didn't see him again.  A.K.A if he was the disappearing type, which I'm starting to come to the conclusion that he is.  Oh well.

I Confess...
I was just talking to Karen about how much I hate that guys just disappear when a simple text saying "Hey, it's not going to work out" would easily clear it up.  Seems so cowardly-and I've experienced it so many times. Then I picked up The Between Boyfriends Book that Beth (by way of Aubrey) sent me, and the very first paragraph said:

"Men are good at a lot of things.  Breaking up is not one of them.  When a woman wants to break up with a man, she invites him over for dinner, cooks his favorite dish, and tells him she's seeing his best friend.  It's all very straightforward and diplomatic. But men have this aversion to endings.  They prefer to take the passive mode, allowing the relationship to end itself.  Men can't be bothered with dramatic farewells, the questioning of motives, discussions.  They are bored.  They want out. Goodbye." - Cindy Chupack

I Confess...
I have not been very good at not eating my emotions this week.  I've enjoyed too many things I'd avoided when sticking to my WW points...  I also gained 2+ lbs.  So I need to get back into business and back into getting myself to uber hotness.  Curry was kind of worth it though...

I Confess...
I changed my sponsorship options up just a little.  Prices are remaining the same for now, but will probably go up at the end of Summer (not much, I still want them to be pretty reasonable).  I mostly did away with featured posts as I don't seem to get to them as well, I'm thinking of just splitting up the sponsor round-ups per size, and doing mostly interviews and guest posts with the bigger ones.

I Confess...
It's possible I also suffer from Bitchy Resting Face:

Bitchy Resting Face - watch more funny videos      

I Confess...
I have loved Seduce Me Strawberry from the Avon Forbidden Fruits Collection as my nail polish choice this week!  I've never used Avon polish, but it was good! If you need an Avon Rep, my friend Melanie would be happy to help you!

I Confess...
I'm so ready for the weekend.  Here's what I'll be jamming out to!

January RAK Recap

I cannot begin to express just how much I love RAK.  I'm so glad Beth turned me onto it, because it is one of the most fun things I've been a part of.  The idea is that you send books to people when you can, and receive books from people when they can send them-it's lovely.  For more information, or to sign up,  check out the RAK February Sign up.

Some of you may remember that I sent 7 books in December, and received a couple of books from Beth.  Not necessarily RAK books, but I counted them. January was crazy, so I was unable to send books out, however I did receive three of them, which was amazing!  Thank you so much to those that sent me books!

1. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.  This has been at the top of my list forever-I wanted it so badly and so whoever sent me this is amazing.  I am hooked on Neil Gaiman now that I'm finishing up Neverwhere, so I'm pretty sure I'll be starting this one next!

2. Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke- This book has also been at the top of my list ever since I came across this quote from it:

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.  Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." 

3. Undead and Unwed by Mary Janice Davidson - I'm pretty sure I've read this one, and I liked it-so it was on my wishlist because eventually I'd love to get through the whole series! 

Teaser Tuesday: The Witch of Portobello

"Everything is familiar to me because I come in strength and in fire, and when I leave, no one will be the same.  I bring true love, not the love they write about in books and in fairytales."

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

Teaser Tuesday is a bookish meme hosted by Should Be Reading.

1. Grab your current read.
2. Turn to a random page.
3. Share 2 sentences from that page, but don't give away any spoilers!

Keep it Positive

Source: superswoon.com via Miss Angie on Pinterest

After a While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts.

And presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With the grace of the Goddess, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

And after a while you learn

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure ...

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn and learn ...

And with every goodbye, you learn.

-anon

Both Happy and Sad

I am a very emotional and passionate person. When I feel things, I feel them with every fiber of my being and I soak them up as if it were water on the desert.  I saturate myself with emotions, allowing whatever I am feeling at the time to fill me from head to toe, and then I focus them on one focal point in my chest; the heart chakra.

Sometimes the emotions that I feel building and churning right in the center of my of my being are so strong it is physically painful.  They feel as if they will grow and grow until they finally burst out of my rib cage and leave me open and sprawled out in pieces upon the floor.  Having no desire to be a bleeding, bawling mess, I do my best to swallow them despite the headaches or sour stomach they may induce.  Somehow it seems easier than the explosion that could ensue.

This being the case, it's easy to see how I could be both happy and sad at the same time, and how I could feel those things equally as strong bubbling up inside me.  Sometimes I think to myself "I am so extremely happy" while at the same time simultaneously feeling the urge to cry at the thought of losing that happiness.  Don't get me wrong, I understand and welcome the fact that you need to have times of sadness in order to really appreciate the happiness-but this is different; and I really can't explain how.

All I can do is be me, and keep feeling everything I feel while learning to love myself for it all.

It Has Been Said

"I quote others in order to better express myself."

-Michele de Montaigne 

I am completely and utterly addicted to quotes.  Literature quotes, quoting my friends, quoting song  lyrics, etc. This is especially true when it comes to strong emotions or difficult situations I may be encountering, as it is sometimes much easier to use someone else's relating words to describe what I'm feeling, rather than have to pour my heart out onto the page or say something I may regret sharing later.  

"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent." 

- Ralph Waldo Emmerson

I know that not all situations are the same, but I have a feeling that no feeling is ever unique.  Someone out there has already felt what you're feeling, whether it be the same or just similar; and poets and writers alike have written things that represent those feelings far more eloquently than I can.  So I borrow their words and use them to portray how I'm feeling in that point of time.  

So it's no wonder I find a lot of time on Pinterest is spent pinning quotes I love and want to surround myself with.  Here are a few I've fallen in love with recently and relate to at the moment.

Source: vi.sualize.us via Angela on Pinterest

I am MADLY and completely in love with this quote.

I want a love like that.  A love that lights up the whole sky.

Source: bitsofwisdom.org via Angela on Pinterest

Amen! I'm only surrounding myself with people I love.

People who love me back.

And people who enrich my world.

Source: thegirlwhokeepsdreaming.tumblr.com via Angela on Pinterest

Very true.

It's the daily things that end up mattering more in the end.

The little words love of love and encouragement.

The simple things like a hug or handshake.

Source: iobad.com via Angela on Pinterest

If it's worth it, you'll fight for it.

Don't let something that matters drift away in apathy.

Source: fairytalesaretrue.com via Angela on Pinterest

All I can do is be myself.

Take me for what I am.

Source: None via Angela on Pinterest

I have always loved this quote by Bob Marley.

Source: teachinginhighheels.blogspot.com via Angela on Pinterest

An oldie, but goodie.

Source: anglophilemeetsbibliophile.tumblr.com via Angela on Pinterest

I have so much love, for so many.

Sometimes it still doesn't make sense.

But sometimes, nothing but that love makes sense.

Source: media.photobucket.com via Angela on Pinterest

It's always darkest before the storm-right?

Hey look-that's another quote from somewhere lol

Source: lh3.ggpht.com via Angela on Pinterest

Not Mormon, but I think this quote applies to more than religion.

It applies to life in general.

Never settle for less than you deserve.

Source: pitterpatterart.wordpress.com via Angela on Pinterest

Isn't that the truth.

Source: None via Angela on Pinterest

Someday...

And lastly:

Source: google.com via Angela on Pinterest

So focus on the things in your life that matter.

Devote attention to them.

And they will be the brightest shiniest parts.

I love you all!