Musical Mondays: The Fade Away

No matter whether you're the one making the call, or you're the one living with another's decision on the matter, ending a relationship is never easy.  If it's not working out for one person, or both, someone has to be the one to call it quits-whether they want to or not.  Most of us have been on both ends of the experience, and neither one of them is particularly enjoyable.

When I think about it, I can't honestly say whether I have more experience dumping or being dumped, but I can say with certainty that the majority of what I remember is the latter.  The memories I can call to mind quickly make me think I've been on the receiving end of bad news more often than the giving, but if I really stop and think about it in terms of "the fade away" I can't honestly say one way or another.  

What's the fade away?  Well it's basically ending it like a coward... You just kind of let the relationship fizzle out and, as it states, fade away.  Usually one person is more into it than the other, and the one that's not just kind of keeps blowing them off until they get the hint.  It's not usually something that happens when two people have been in a serious relationship, but more so when it's just been a couple of dates and one or the other just isn't feeling it.

Remembering those times when I've been interested and then just never heard back from the person I was trying to date, it sucks.  I remember calling them jerks and wondering why they couldn't just "man up" (that's a sexist term-but fitting in this description) and tell me it was over.  Then I'd go on with my life, whether grieving the lost opportunity or laughing it off, and move on.

I never really considered the fact that I'd been that jerk a few times myself until recently when it was pointed out to me.  In October I went on a date with a guy who was nice, but also kind of weird... He was jittery, and he made paying this whole ordeal.  I didn't mind paying for myself, but when they accidentally put both our coffees on one check he acted like he'd have to go out to his car to dig pennies out of the cup holders if I couldn't convince them to split it.  Then he wanted to go on a second date to which he invited me, and when he picked an expensive type of food to go out for, he decided he wanted to go dutch instead of taking me as he'd orginally offered.  Really, not a big deal, but it was enough of a hassle and I hadn't really been that into him to begin with, that I just kind of stopped responding.  I did the fade away.  Which is when Kristina pointed this song out to me: 

This week's song: 

The Fade Away

by Garfunkel and Oates

Note: There are some adult lyrics so listen/read on at your own discretion.

We've been on a bunch of dates 

I weigh debates that this creates

And hate that state of forced introspection

We traded wit we swapped some spit

You fingered me a little bit

We never really had a connection

You did nothing wrong I have no excuse

Just my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce

I know I have to end it but pretend it just to suspend it
By pretending that I'm busy all week

I let foregone linger on 

Text back with an emoticon

Withdraw from you by being oblique

Inside I know my tactics just delay it

But I'll do anything so I don't have to say it

I'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam

Then one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom-ahhh

'Cause there's the right thing to do

Then there's what I'm gonna do

There's so much I should say but instead

I do the fade away

Now I'm fading like chalk on the sidewalk

Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk

A Jewish guy at Arby's on Yom Kippur 

The Whig party post Millard Filmore

The erection of a man on antidepressants

The cast of Different Strokes after adolescence

Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon

Native Americans after the barter system

Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto

The family in the Back to the Future photo

Yeah I fade away

We say that men are assholes, we don't communicate

We revel in our victim-hood and amplify our hate

We find ways to be indignant like it's a sport 

Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort

The way men breakup may be sloppy and terse 

What they do is bad but what we do is worse

We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do

To let you down gently by just not f*cking telling you

And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it

But we are what we have-huge pussies

And women are hipocrites

Especially ones in comedy bands

We see your faults but not our own

Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybes, excuses, and stalls

But like a baby in China it's better to have balls

Not the Good Wife type like  Christine Baranski

So I'll pull out and leave like Roman Polanski-ohhh

'Cause there's the right thing to do

Then there's what I'm gonna do

There's so much I should say but instead

I do the fade away

Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze

The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose

Opportunities for a college grad

The love between your mom and dad

Gonna peter out like like a gay Cetara

Iranian relations after the Reagan era

Black Nike sneakers after Heaven's Gate

Summer Camp attendance at Penn State

The name Adolf after World War two

Like Debbie Gibson's pop career-outta the blue

Yeah I fade away

'Cause I don't want to get to know you

I just want to blow you... Off!

When you're faced with the reality of the tables being turned it really opens your eyes to what the other people may have been feeling when they did the same thing to you.  Personally, it made me feel a little more compassion for what people in your shoes may have had to go through when they decided they just weren't feeling you.  At least that's what happened for me.  

No one ever wants to be the bad guy, which is exactly why I did what I did.  So, perhaps it wasn't the right thing, but it was the easier thing.  Which is likely the case for guys who did it to me... Do I have more compassion to them now?  Yeah, a little.  Do I still hope guys will take the time to end it in the future instead of fading away? Yes. I do.  I just hope I wont be clingy or needy when they do it-I just want to be that girl who can shrug it off and move on.  That way, maybe more people will learn that it's okay to end things properly rather than fade away.  I know I'm going to learn going forward...  But I'm also going to know when to accept a fade away for what it is when it happens again. ;)

Like the song says, I've been a hypocrite.  I've remembered all the guys who did "the fade away" to me as jerks, and forgotten all the guys I ended things with like that... Guess it's time to learn from that break up mistake and be a better person. 

What is Musical Mondays?

Musical Mondays is a weekly linky party where we share a song we're into for the week, and talk about why we like it-or why it effects us.  Along with talking about music, I host a month-long music related giveaway.

What are you listening to this week?

Please grab the button and link up your Musical Mondays post in the linky!

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November's Musical Monday's Giveaway

This month's giveaway is for an MP3 copy of the album Heart on My Sleeve by Mary Lambert.

If you already have this album, or are international, you will receive a $10 Amazon Gift card instead.

Giveaway is open worldwide from 12AM November 3rd 2014 to 12AM December 1st 2014.

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