Take Responsibility for YOUR Feelings

Looking back, I can't remember what it was that certain people did to me to make me dislike them, I only know that I do-because of the way they made me feel by whatever it was.  

For example: So-and-so made me feel small and unimportant; he whittled away at me with his cunning whit and sharp tongue. He told me I was a child, and then proceeded to scold me as if I were his.   Is it any wonder why my initial reaction when someone says his name, or mentions I'm going to have to be in the same room with him is resentment?  That my tone changes when I talk about him, filled with scorn-even when I don't particularly feel angry at him?

With that same logic, doesn't it stand to reason that certain ways I may have made people feel will forever haunt them about me? I don't think I've ever meant to hurt anyone in my life, it's not in my nature, but I'm completely sure there have been occasions when I have misspoken or done something accidentally which may have left a lasting scar on someone.  Made them feel a way I would not have wanted them to.

Well, that kind of sucks-to put it bluntly.  I guess it goes along with the same thought about first impressions being the lasting idea of someone... It's not often you get a second chance to leave an impression on someone who did not like you to begin with, however it's all-too-often that you leave a good first impression and then screw it up later on down the line-never to be repaired.

On the other hand, can you really blame anyone but yourself for how YOU feel?  So-and-so may have influenced it by saying hurtful things or beating me down with his words, but in the long run isn't it my decision to still let him influence my mood when he's around?  Isn't it my decision to be affected by something so stupid, and to still feel it even to this day?  So following that logic-if I accidentally hurt someone (no malicious intent required) isn't it on them how they feel?

My conclusion?

No, you should never intentionally try to hurt someone.

You should love madly and remind people how special they truly are to you.

However, no one is perfect.

You're going to unintentionally hurt people, it's part of being human.
There are occastions where you have to hurt someone, to save yourself.

Take responsibility for YOUR feelings.

Don't spend the rest of your life blaming someone else because you're sad.

If they hurt you, they're not worth the time it takes to think about it.

So if you keep thinking about it, it's your own fault.