Dear So & So: I Think I Like You

Dear FWB,

I really like you. In fact, on some level, I think I kind of love you.

No, this does not mean that I am asking for (or even wanting) a relationship. It just means I feel you are someone in my life worth loving, even if it is not reciprocated. Honestly, I don't really expect or need anything more right now, I'm just enjoying where we are.

The Universe doesn't give you the people you want; it gives you the people you NEED... To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

I believe with everything I have that the people in our lives are there for a specific reason, and that we learn from them and we teach them something as well. When those purposes are fulfilled those people can then step back in our lives, and at times leave. I don't believe in forever. I believe in right now. I believe people can be with us throughout our whole lives, or many lifetimes, but our relationship with those people won't always be the same. Everything changes. Feelings change. People change.

I really enjoy our time together. Those evenings I spend at your house, learning things from you, talking with you, going on a long walk, playing with your dog... I even like the nights where we just hang out on the couch and watch sports, and I am not a person who normally likes sports; I just like being with you. So if I don't know the score, or which player just made the field goal, remember that I'm just content snuggled up to you watching you enjoy it. Also, just because I don't know much about your team or the players, I still love hearing the random facts that you know, because you're so cute when you're excited, and I love listening to you about anything you have to say.

Have I mentioned lately that when you play your guitar it's SEXY? I mean sexy beyond ridiculously-mouth-wateringly-attractive to me. Sometimes you say you think I'll be bored with it, but I could lay there and listen to you play for hours, even as in my head I'm debating reaching across the guitar and kissing you. However, I know if I do that you'll be done playing, so somehow I compose myself and sit back, listening. You're so amazing!

Anyways, I'm just saying. Don't be freaked out when I fall in love with you, because I fall in love... That's what I do, and if I didn't invest my heart, I wouldn't be the person I am. I wouldn't be this compassionate, sweet individual who cares about everyone and doesn't want to see anyone hurt. I wouldn't be this fiery, passionate person who loves with everything I have even to the point of being hurt. I don't fear the pain, I fear the apathy. I fear feeling nothing.

So bring on the loving with everything I have, even if it be an unrequited love. For now, bring on the enjoyment that comes from our time together. Bring on the happiness that comes from knowing I have a friend in you; and should it come to it, bring on the pain and that old familiar ache that reminds me that I'm alive. For heartbreak is just a reminder that you once had something amazing, and that you can survive even the end of it. I am not afraid.

Sincerely,

Me

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