Still Learning How To Bend

I'm still learning how to pray, trying hard not to stray,

try to see things your way, I'm still learning how to pray.

I'm still learning how to trust, it's so hard to open up,

but I'd do anything for us, I'm still learning how to trust.

I'm still learning how to bend, how to let you in.

In a world fill of tears, we'll conquer all our fears.

I'm still learning how to fly, I wanna take you high.

I'll be there til the end, I'll be your lover and your friend,

I'm still learning how to bend.

I'm just trying to understand, it's all in someone else's hands,

there's always been a bigger plan, that I don't need to understand.

I'm still learning how to bend, I wanna take you in.

In a world full of tears, we'll conquer all our fears.

I'm still learning how to fly, I wanna take you high.

I'll be there til the end, I'll be your lover and your friend,

I'm still learning how to bend.

I'll be there till the end, I'll be your lover and your friend,

I'm still learning how to bend.

-Gary Allen

After the week I've had so far I find myself in this rut, without the motivation to pull myself out of it. It's been a very long time since I have felt so low, and I keep telling myself that there has to be more to it, it can't just be because of my fear of losing him... Yet I continue to stress about it, and worry, and replay it all in my head. I'm worried about my friends too, a few in particular who are going through some stuff now... This week has just been awful, and not only for me.

I am feeling so down that I almost didn't write anything in here today, even though I've been on a roll of writing every day, because it has felt so good to get those creative juices flowing and it's such a great outlet... Today however, I just stared at the "New Post" window and felt too numb to write anything until the above song came on my MP3 player. This song always reminds me of Enoch, has since I very first heard it months ago, and it's extra fitting right now.