Random Tuesday Thoughts

First of all, Happy Summer Solstice/Midsummer/Litha

Summer is officially here!

Last night I went to dinner with my grandmother and my baby sister for sister's birthday.  She's had a rough time as of late because she's getting divorced, and it was kind of sprung on her.  However, she was so very grown up about it that I was impressed-and proud of her!

Then my grandmother and I drove home (we had separate cars but were going the same way-since I had been at work before we went to dinner) and when she got off her exit I felt that old familiar ache. I'm 25 years old and still feel like that little girl homesick for her grandmother every time we part.  I remember waking my mom up in the middle of the night when I was little, I was bawling and needed desperately to talk to my grandma.  I cried for a while yesterday after we separated.

When I was about 4, at my grandma's house with her cats.

I should mention that I'm hormonal this week... So yesterday I wanted to cry over everything.

This past weekend was pretty chill.  Friday night we had a small group of friends over, some drinks, and a terrible terrible 70's movie that kind of made me want to bang my head against the wall (because it's so bad.) Then other than the Farmers Market on Saturday, I spent the weekend finishing up swap goodness, watching True Blood, and starting an extensive de-junking process.

My roommate has been all sorts of into Feng Shui, so he's been Feng Shui-ing his bedroom, and the rest of the living area-so I thought this would be a good way to get on board and finally clean up my cluttered bedroom.  A cluttered room is a cluttered mind, right?

Don't worry, there will be a post with before and after pictures. Then you'll see just how bad it was. 

Yesterday I felt like the world's worst roommate/friend.  Sunday night I was so hormonal and frustrated that I lashed out and told my roommate I didn't like the random glasses with rocks and water he had set out.  They were part of the Feng Shui and they made him happy, but I was frustrated with it and shouldn't have said anything.  I came home last night (he wasn't home) and found that he had dumped them out.  I felt so terrible.  I cried for over a half an hour over it, until I finally composed myself and went to the store to buy him some pretty glass bowls so he could do it more decoratively.  

Something like this!

I still feel kind of bad over it, even though he assured me it was not an issue and he didn't think much of it.  He had just been using the cups as placeholders until we got something prettier.  I was pretty much an emotional mess the entire evening anyway-crying at the drop of a hat and over everything.  Poor man, he's such a great guy to put up with this with me once a month! I'm so lucky to have such an amazing friend! 

Speaking of friends, I've been thinking more about cutting ties... I don't really want to, but some people cause me stress because I feel like I'm making an effort to keep in touch with them, and they never respond.  They don't comment on facebook-sometimes they'll respond to what I say on their things, but even that is rare and they almost never comment on anything of mine or message me to initiate a conversation. I just feel like they're not putting any effort into being my friend back... But they're close enough, or I should say were close enough, I don't feel comfortable just writing them off... :( It's depressing, and makes me just want to give up and stop trying.

But on the upside, I have this amazing family growing around me now.  With Elisa and Julie living next door to Josh and I, and Meggy and Jon coming around all the time-I feel surrounded by love.  There's always someone to talk to, something to do, and someone on my couch watching Movies with us-even on the weekdays now.  It's lovely.  My heart really feels so full-as cheesy as it sounds.  I am grateful for that.

What's on your mind?