I have no energy, and very little motivation.
I want to crawl inside myself and not come back out.
I don't feel sad, or upset, or angry-I'm not suicidal or lonely.
I just don't feel like I have enough space to breath these days.
Or enough energy to support myself, let alone anyone else.
Drained. I feel so very drained.
Maybe it's the fact that everything around me feels like it's changing.
I get that change is necessary, and often good...
I just feel like there's so much to take in, and no time to do it.
There are so many feelings I'm not allowing myself to feel.
I'm just swallowing them and pretending they're not sharp like razor blades.
I feel like I keep telling myself "Just keep going."
Don't stop. If I stop everythig that is wrong will hit me like a ton of bricks.
So I pour myself into all of these projects and activities.
Slowly suffocating the ache inside.
It works until the flame goes out and I'm left feeling burnt out.
I really need to start taking my vitamins again.
There are so many feelings I'm not allowing myself to feel.
I'm just swallowing them and pretending they're not sharp like razor blades.
I feel like I keep telling myself "Just keep going."
Don't stop. If I stop everythig that is wrong will hit me like a ton of bricks.
So I pour myself into all of these projects and activities.
Slowly suffocating the ache inside.
It works until the flame goes out and I'm left feeling burnt out.
I really need to start taking my vitamins again.
Love I am sorry you are feeling that way...I get that it just happens sometimes...and it feels like it won't ever go away...but it will!
ReplyDeleteI hope your day gets better!
HUGS!
i got up this morning and it took every ounce of will power i have to not go back to bed, i've been so busy this past week. Baby steps. thats whta ive been taking today. Hope we both feel more energetic tomorrow x
ReplyDeleteHey love, I know the feeling exactly. It's hard to just roll with all the changes and feel great about em! Remember my offer from today, if you need a break, I'm here :)
ReplyDeleteXoXo
oh bummer. i'm so sorry. i hope that you feel so much better soon. I go through phases where life just feels heavy.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I wallow about is my kids, and that's cuz I can't control it. The tears just flow when they need to flow.
ReplyDeleteEverything else I push down and ignore. I can distract myself from dealing with stuff, as apparently you do sometimes. But wallowing now and then is a good release.
I know the feeling! :-( I'm sorry you've got it. I hope that everything gets better, and that one day you'll be able to set aside all your work and confront the ache. Love!
ReplyDelete*hugs* DO take an hour or two every single day to de-stress, yoga or a hot bath or something that gets you in zenned.
ReplyDeleteAlso make sure you're taking those vitamins AND getting enough vitamin D. In capsules, or whatever. It really helps boost and level your energy.
And, obviously, 8 hours or sleep every night.
Also, know that age sometimes doe this trainwreck thing where all of a sudden partying one night will leave you exhausted for 7, and there's nothing you can do about it. It took me 3 years to accept that, cuz you can't fight it, but it does stink to be forced to slow down.
That being said, I hope you can take pride in your achievements and productivity, too. You rock, and you don't need to burn 9 ways from Sunday every week to prove that to anyone.
I promise the change isn't as scary as it seems. *hugs*
You're an amazing woman, Miss Angie! Don't forget that. In the meantime... Many of us know how you feel. Hopefully when the sun FINALLY comes out you will feel a little better! And take a few minutes to soak up some Vitamin D when it happens :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteI hear you love! <33
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