Better Than Nothing (MM)

What is Musical Mondays? Musical Mondays is a weekly linky party where we share a song we're into for the week, and talk about why we like it-or why it effects us.  Anyone who links up a song and a post about that song is entered to win a big music giveaway at the end of 2012

This week's song:  Better than Nothing  by Sara Jaffe



How can someone who wants to be loved hate it when they're loved at all?

Does guilt really feel that bad? Every time I take a breath honey I feel the weight fall back on me Somebody tell me it's not so bad

[Chorus] Collected thoughts drown in sleep I've forgotten what you mean to me I forgot a lot of things
What happens to the girl? What happens to the boy? See the red lights moving What happens to the boy? Will he be destroyed? Is this winning or losing?
But I feel, feel But I feel Something Oh it's better than nothing.
I've been sleeping in his bed I'm digging in my head He pulls the cash from under the table Take that breath and hold it in Oh it's sidling in he says, it's not so bad.
[Chorus]   *** A friend shared this song on Facebook the other day, and I hadn't even heard of her or this song prior to that.  I immediately fell in love with it and listened to it over and over... It's so emotional, and the meaning can be either complex or simple; depending on how you relate to it.  Also I just love her voice-all raspy and full of feeling.
For me it doesn't just mean one thing.  It means a lot of things.  For the first time in a long time I feel something.  After spending the last year relatively numb, I thought I didn't want to feel anything again.  Numb seems easier.  Not dating, not getting invested, and not getting hurt seems easier.  Looking back I find that it's not easier-it was a coping mechanism and to some extent I was fooling myself.
So yes, I feel something.  I can't begin to know where it will go because it's so damn complicated and seems like it may only get more complicated as things progress (I don't know why I'd ever expect the universe to make it easy-it hasn't in the past) but feeling something is definitely better than nothing.  So wherever this goes, whether it ends up somewhere great and happy or I find myself broken-hearted once more, I will be glad for the feeling and the experience.  I have to be-because I can't live my life shutting down my feelings because I'm afraid of the pain that inevitably occurs.  I just have to throw myself back into the feeling, and roll with the punches as they come.
What are you listening to? Please use the button code in your link-up post!  Posts without the code will not be entered to win the prize.

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