Focusing on Me, Still Loving You.

Just adding a quick update, since my last entry was so dark... Things are OK, still working out how everything is going to be, but isn't that the way of life? It's not over, it's just taking a slightly different path for a while, and it could be a good thing for us both!

After a good discussion, it looks like he's not ready for a relationship just yet. It seems that a lot of it is due to the lack of time to commit, and the fact that he doesn't want to feel like he's constantly letting me down because he can't be there, so we're just not going to commit. Of course I had thought that taking the next step (i.e. commitment) was a good thing because A: I really don't want to date anyone but him and B: To be completely honest-the thought of him dating someone else grinds my teeth. Since he doesn't really have time for dating he is going to focus on his life (job, work, and occasionally me) and not really date anyone else.

Of course, he gave me the spill about it not being fair to ask me to wait, so he wont, etc. But honestly, I still don't really want to date anyone but him. So I'm following suit. I'm not waiting, instead I'm focusing on me, while he and I take it slow and get to know each other better. He also brought up the whole "You should marry your best friend" thing, which I agree with and acknowledge that we haven't spent enough face-to-face time together, so we're going to spend the next little while working on becoming best friends and building up to a relationship, as we both want to end up there eventually. Slow and easy.

So in the spirit of focusing on me, here are a few things I will be working on/towards over the next little while. The stuff in red are steps I've already taken toward that goal.

• Getting a high-paying job with benefits. (Starting back at my old job next week. No benefits yet, but pretty high-paying!)
• Getting some dental work taken care of. (Apt on the 20th)
  
• Finding my own place *with roomie* in Salt Lake/Sugarhouse (Josh and I can start looking soon!)
• Paying off all of my debt (Working with UHEAA/Weber State to work it out)
• Working toward going back to school. (Psychology!)
  
• Maybe get my A+ and other Certs for technical support to work while in school.
• Lose weight! Buy a bicycle and a new gym membership! (I'm eating a lot better!)
  
• Spend time with friends and family.
  
• Start writing again and get something published eventually. (Started my book!)
• Learning French! (I've been working on this for a while!)
  

All of that should keep me fairly busy while he finishes up his last few weeks at the job that takes all of his time, and then he'll go back to school and I'll still be busy enough that I wont need so much attention. :) So we can work on letting our relationship take off when the time is right.

Wish me luck!