What's So Great About Picket Fences?

Little boys and little girls dream of big big things
They're taught at a tender age just what life should bring
Get a job, say "I do" and settle yourself down
But what about those of us who's lives are still spinnin' around?

Tell me, what's so great about picket fences?
Painting them is such a mess...
And a big back yard where kids can play?
I'd probably never get a moments rest...
And setting the table for five at five?
Only means more dishes to load...
What's so great about picket fences?
I guess I'll never know...

Here I am, in my prime, at least they tell me so
And if I go to sleep at night I always go alone
I guess that I could have it all and someone by my side
But I can't take the give and take, the price is just too high

Tell me, what's so great about picket fences?
Painting them is such a mess...
And a big back yard where kids can play?
I'd probably never get a moments rest...
And setting the table for five at five?
Only means more dishes to load...
What's so great about picket fences?
I guess I'll never know...

Tell me, what's so great about picket fences?
I guess I'll never know...
-Picket Fences by Chely Wright

I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I know that I said that I would focus on myself and just work on me, and I have been, but still... It's the nights that are hardest, when the activities of the day have finally come to a close and I'm lying there trying to quiet the spinning in my head; these are the times when I miss him most. There's the occasional song that reminds me of him, or a sad one that brings out the buried aching in my heart. At these times it's nearly impossible to think of the progress I am making in my life, because all I can focus on is the complete failure in my love life and the fact that I want someone who's not there.

My friends keep telling me to let go, and to move on. They think I'll always be waiting if I stay here and wait. It's not that they don't like him, they respect him and think he's a good guy, they just don't think he'll be coming around and they're tired of seeing me let-down. He is a good guy, and everything about him that makes me think he's completely perfect for me and wants all the same things as me, keep me here. It keeps me from moving on, even though he said he could not ask me to wait, yet I choose to wait. I choose the hurt and the constant insecurity. I choose the let-down every time he doesn't call, or message me, or possibly even think about me... This is me, keeping myself here in this rut, not ready to move on because part of me is still holding on to that very small hope that things will work out.

But what do I do? I don't want to let go or give up on us, but I don't want to be waiting the rest of my life for something that may never come... I just don't know what is right here.