Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

It's been a few years since I've written, have you missed me?  I'll bet you have!  You see, I'm not a little kid anymore, and when Christmas rolls around, I forget what it's like to be all young and hopeful while slipping a peppermint scented envelope into the mailbox.  I remember being a kid and sitting down with my various colored markers and lined paper; I wanted your letter to be perfect before I popped it into it's envelope and ran through the snow to the mailbox.

Now that I am grown, I don't want to write you a letter requesting a new barbie or pair of boots (Though I do like me some sexy boots!) because they seem somehow less necessary now.  The things I want from you involve a little magic, and Santa-You're the big magic man! 

1.  I would like a little more self-love.  I have a hard time seeing myself the way other people see me and it would be nice to look in the mirror each morning and think I'm beautiful.

2.  Can I have more moments where I forget the rest of the world and am just happy? Please? Will you bring me more hours for my day dedicated to loving and cuddling than to fighting traffic, bosses,  and crazy shoppers?   This holiday season, can I be kissed under the mistletoe and have long evenings cuddled up drinking hot chocolate and watching the lights and falling snow?

3.  I would like the ability to love freely without fear, and to be able to express my love as so.  I don't always want to be afraid to fall in love with someone, for fear that they will break my heart.  There is a constant cloud over my head that reminds me of all the past hurt and that it will probably happen again.  Santa, can you please make it go away?  Can you make me not afraid of the pain and rejection?  I just want to be happy.

4.  I want my loved ones to be happy and healthy.  I want families to be together, and friends to be there for each other, and I don't want to see any of them sad anymore.  I want to strengthen our bonds, and their ties with others as well.

5.  I would like to find a rewarding career.  One with benefits, and that I love going to.  Where sexism in the workplace doesn't exist and there is no boys club to be left out of.  I want to wake up in the morning and go to work with the thought that it will be a good day and I will accomplish something, not dreading what will be said or done.  I want security, and to know that I will have a job and recognition as long as I work hard and show them what I've got.

6.   Santa, can you bring me my Muse back?  I haven't written much in years, and I dearly miss that dream I had to be published one day... I want to write so badly!

7.  Last, but not least - In this day and age there are still too many people out there who do not have rights. I would like Equal rights for all! I would like the citizens of America to remember their constitution they all hold so dear, and they quote whenever it suits them.

Amendment 14: Ratified 7/9/1868: Article #1: All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

How come they forget that they're subjecting a minority right to a majority vote? I call to all those so-called Christians out there to find the kind of love Jesus would have had in him. They keep saying he's the reason for the season, and that they should have Jesus in their hearts all year long, yet they do not all love and forgive as openly as he preached. Many of them are closed minded and have forgotten that Jesus would have supported equal rights, and he would have embraced his gay neighbor and told him "Merry Christmas, I wish you and your husband the best."

This post was brought to you via Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Head on over and participate or just read the blogs of other participants.

With Much Love,

Maturity & Compliments

How can it go from compliments to being yelled at in the middle of the night and still be OK? I'll tell you-It's because The Musician is pretty much the most mature guy I've dated. Ever.

We had a bit of an "issue" the other night, and that was the first time I realized the level of maturity we're working with, and I was really impressed. The exact details of the incident are a little fuzzy to me, but the gist of it is that he felt I was being pushy (which apparently-According to close friends-I can be sometimes) and brought it to my attention. I realized he was being quiet at first, and asked him what was up. After a few moments of silence as he prepared himself to speak without anger, he took a breath and started with "I'm bringing this up because I'm over it now, and I want you to know how I feel." He calmly explained the situation to me, and then quickly added "It should really say something that I'm willing to tell you this. It's because I care enough about you, I want to keep you in my life and make you aware of the things that bother me so we can move past them."

I took a deep breath (tried not to be emotional and start crying-which I usually do when I'm frustrated) and waited to speak as well. I asked for clarification and thanked him for being open with me, and that was that. None of my other relationships have ever been so quick and efficient in working out complications that arise!

Anyways, yesterday he said the sweetest thing to me. He told me that my beauty outshines the negativity around us, which was pretty much the best compliment I've ever received. Especially, when I know he's really frustrated with a certain negative aspect at work and it's a huge compliment that I'm more beautiful than it is annoying. This simple statement had me grinning all day.

Then I spent the night with him, and we had one of those bad nights of sleep. You know the ones I'm talking about right? The kind where you're not used to sleeping with a person, so you toss and turn and you're caught in this limbo between rolling over to sleep alone and cuddling all night? Yeah, that's the one. He actually yelled at me in the middle of the night (granted, he was half asleep and so was I) because I kept uncovering him on accident and he was freezing. This morning I apologized and in his I-didn't-get-enough-sleep-so-I'm-cranky mood this morning he responded with "You were so annoying all night! I kept trying to roll away from you!". I promptly apologized again and buried my face in the pillow because I felt so bad! The Musician promptly hugged me and let me know it was alright.

His solution? "We just need to sleep together more often, so we get used to it."

Isn't he cute?

RTT: Introducing The Musician & A Book Meme

Happy Tuesday! Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts, which is sponsored by the amazing Keely!

- I'm starting to think no one reads my blog anymore. I mean, it says I have 26 followers, but hardly anyone comments anymore. Oh well, I guess I'll keep writing whether you're all there or not. C'est la vie!

- Henceforth, the guy I'm dating will be known as The Musician, since I figure he needs a nickname here and he's the only guy I've dated that plays an instrument.

-Speaking of which, I could sit and listen to him play his guitar for HOURS. Really, I could. I'm constantly caught in this limbo where I am sitting there watching him play and thinking I really want to kiss him! However, that leads me to thinking but if I kiss him, he'll stop playing... Then I sit and debate it over and over in my head, and usually end up siding with the playing rather than the kissing. It usually works out though, because he tends to decide at some point that he needs to stop playing and kiss me. I'm glad I don't have to make that decision in the long run! Haha!

- On Thanksgiving, my father announced that since my mother is turning 42 he can now trade her in for two 21 year old girls. The whole room practically stopped and stared at him until one of my relatives reminded him that his daughter (i.e. ME) is 23. I promptly reminded him that dating someone younger than his kids is GROSS. Good thing he's just teasing anywho...

- I still haven't gone for In-N-Out burger, and they just opened their fourth store here in Utah. I guess I just can't bring myself to wait an hour for a burger, even if it is a very yummy animal-style burger or fries!

- Yesterday was super stressful at work. Seriously, I'm friends with the my coworkers and all, but they can be really stressful!

Anyways, I feel much better today! I'm going to let my last random thought be a Book Meme that I snagged from Word Trix! If you want to do it just snag it and post it to your own blog! :D Peace and love peeps!

Book Meme

Hardback, Trade Paperback or Mass Market Paperback?

Hardback is my favorite! If I could own every book I ever loved in hardback, I would be a happy girl. However, I will settle then for a Mass Market Paperback, and lastly the Trade Paperback. You see, a paperback book is better than no book!

Waterstones, Borders or Amazon?

Amazon or Barnes & Nobles. I LOVE browsing around B&N wandering the isles of books with a latte in my hand... It's heaven. However, Amazon is SO MUCH CHEAPER! If I can order something used for half the price (including shipping) that B&N has it for, I'm totally going for that.

Bookmark or Dog-Ear?

Bookmark! Dear god in heaven I HATE, I mean ABSOLUTELY LOATHE folding the corner over in my books. It almost makes me cry.

Alphabetize by Author, by Title or “Other”?

I am so weird about my books. Just ask my roommate, he got to see the full brunt of my book OCD (yes, it really is mostly related to my books) when we unpacked. I shelve first by genre, and then organize by author (all of the same author should be together if it's in the same genre) and then by height. My taller books have to be on the outside edge of the shelves, getting smaller towards the middle. However, super wide books (sticking out from the shelf) supersede height (generally) and go towards the outside.

Keep, Throw Away or Sell?

Keep. I love books, and I want a HUGE library someday, so I figure I'm just building a collection. However, there are times the Universe tells me someone needs a book more than me, and that's when I'll give it away. The last one told me it needed to go to Josh, so I wrote him a note inside and gave it to him.

Keep Dust Jacket or Toss It?

Keep them. There are a few books that I have that don't have their dust jackets, but that's because I got them that way (I love used book stores!) and a few that their dust jackets were damaged beyond repair.

Read with Dust Jacket or Remove It?

Depends on how much it's annoying me. If it's not in the way I'll leave it and use it's flap as a bookmark.

Short Story or Novel?

Novels mostly, though I can enjoy a short story now and again.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?

Harry Potter, though I've read both.

Buy or Borrow?

Buy. Again, I like to own my books.

Buying Choice: Book Reviews, Recommendations or Browse?

Mostly I just browse the shelves and pick something that looks interesting, however I'll always take a good recommendation when it's offered to me.

Tidy Ending or Cliffhanger?

Mostly I like tidy endings, I am too impatient for most cliffhangers!

Morning Read, Afternoon or Nighttime Read?

Nighttime. I read better just before bed.

Stand-Alone or Series?

Both!

Favorite Series?

The Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris, The Blood Ties Saga by Jennifer Armintrout, and The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

Favorite Children’s Book?

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Favorite YA Book?

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Favorite Book of Which Nobody Else Has Heard?

The Harvester by Gene-Stratton Porter. I own one printed in like 1912, and I love it!

Favorite Book(s) Read during the Last Year?

The Mastery of Love by Don-Miguel Ruiz and Persuasion by Jane Austen.

Favorite Book to Re-Read?

The Mists of Avalon & accompanying books by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Do You Ever Smell Books?
Yes! I LOVE the smell of books!
Do You Ever Read Primary Source Documents, Like Letters or Diaries?
I haven't read much of these, but I want too... On my wish list I have one called Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke that I'm dying to read...
What Are You Reading Right Now?
The Four Agreements by Don-Miguel Ruiz and Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch
What Are You Reading Next?
Not sure yet! But I'm excited to find out!