When the Voices Change

We all have those voices in our head.  Our demons, if you will, that are constantly taunting us-telling us we're not good enough... Telling us we're too fat, not pretty enough, less smart than others, etc.  We spend our lives listening to these tiny thoughts that wriggle around like worms in our brain-eating away the parts of us that are meant to love ourselves until we spend all of our times criticizing.

What happens when a voice raises out louder than the others?  A voice that is shouting in the back of your head so pronounced that you can't ignore it, and you find that it's words are not the normal grumbling you are so used to, but instead they are filled with light and love?  Somewhere over the din of the hundreds of voices of negativity a bright shining positivity steps out and starts responding to the other voices-starts shutting them down with it's confidence and strength.

The more you listen to that voice, the louder it gets.  Every time you think "I'm not good enough" the voice responds with "You're better than enough.  You deserve more."  When you think "Maybe he/she wont like me. Maybe this wont work out." the voice says "There will be others.  Someone else will."  It's answers are so definitive that you don't have a chance to doubt it.  It's tone so authoritative that all you can do is accept it's words as law.

Slowly day by day you listen to that voice and let it's lilt work through the negativity-worms that have invaded your thoughts daily since you were an adolescent.  You hear those old resentments start to muffle, and with each quieting the sweet praise becomes more clear until you finally realize that voice is your own.

You are looking in the mirror and thinking lovely things about yourself without even faking it.

You are seeing a beautiful, smart, funny, worthwhile person staring back at you-and you love them.  They are everything you wanted to be.  They are everything you are.  They will always be everything they are supposed to be.

Loving yourself kind of sneaks up on you.

Loving myself snuck up on me.

I'll admit that I'm not fully there yet-it's still going to be a long journey until I'm madly in love with myself-but this is a good place to start.  Somehow since that voice speaking up I've been able to really commit myself to treating myself with kindness.  I'm cutting out the negativity, I'm telling myself I'm beautiful every day, and I'm actually back to hula hooping and working on being healthier and eating things that are good for me.

Why does loving myself make it easier to work towards my weight loss and health goals?  Well, I think it's because I just can't handle the negative reinforcement I was giving myself before.  I don't respond well.  I shut down-and that doesn't get me anywhere.  This positive reinforcement is a new perspective, and so far-it's making all of the difference.

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