It's funny that one of
Mama Kat's writing prompts this week was
"What makes you mad, and what are you going to do about it?" As I have been trying to decide how to write about this all week. I literally thought "I'm not sure what to say yet, so I'll distract myself by checking out what the Writer's Workshop is this week." I'm taking it as a sign that this was the only prompt that hit home for me, and that it so obviously fits the issue I've been looking for the words to convey.
I am angry. Furious. Livid. Saddened. Fired Up.
All at the same time, I'm not really that surprised.
It's so typical.
I'm not sure how many people outside of Utah have heard of this, but it's certainly the topic of much conversation around here these days. I know most of you have probably heard about the epidemic of suicides among gay teens who are being bullied about it. I know Kathy Griffin and Ellen have both talked about it recently. (Watch Ellen's video
HERE, and Kathy's
HERE.) There's no doubt that this is tragic, and that something needs to be done to enlighten parents and teach them to teach their children not to hate, and not to bully other children.
What you may not have heard of (unless you're Mormon, or live in close proximity of them) is that a leader of the Mormon church spoke out recently and said some very hateful things. (Yes, it's normal for them, they practically paid for Prop 8, but they had pretty awful and hurtful timing here... Much like the Westboro Baptists protesting at soldiers funerals.) I couldn't find the exact speech, but here are some news articles about it:
Having grown up a Mormon in Utah (the headquarters of the LDS church/corporation) this has always been a subject that hits close to home. I left the church at the age of 17 for my own disagreements with the way the organization was run, I have spent my life fighting the judgements and accusations of those around me. As strange as it may sound, it is really quite difficult to be non-LDS in this state. I have been lucky enough to have found like-minded friends, but my family still doesn't (and may never) agree with my choice to separate my religious preference from them. Let alone sexual preference.
I'm lucky enough to prefer the opposite sex sexually (most of the time) but I have so many friends and loved ones who battle with being gay in a state/country that hates them, and I ache for them every day. I've heard my best friend say over and over how much he wishes he wasn't gay. He would give anything in the world to stop hating himself, and to be able to just be a heterosexual and find a girl and settle down. That right there, watching his pain and his hurt, tells me that this is NOT something that can be changed; because if he could change it, he would have.
Now I have many friends and family who are still LDS, and while I will always love them-I'm so tired of agreeing to disagree. Mostly because most of them don't hold up their end of the bargain. (Some of you do, and this is not aimed at you) My dad and I fight about it all the time (though my dad likes to start fights, it's like his hobby) until my mother generally gets in and says it's enough. I love them both so much, but I can't understand how someone who has had gay friends (he even roomed with his gay iron-worker buddy once) can look at said friend and think "yes I care about you, but I don't think you should have the same rights as me." How hurtful is that?
It hurts me to think that we live in a society who always thinks of themselves as better than everyone else based on something as stupid as gender, race, and personal preference. If you don't like gay sex, DON'T HAVE IT. It doesn't affect you.
“When women got the right to vote, they did not
redefine voting… When African Americans got the right to sit at a lunch
counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They
were simply invited to the table. And that is all we want to do.”
- Cynthia Nixon
Also, while I've tried to justify my friends who are LDS and say they support Gay marraige, but my friend Effinboy has said some things this week that remind me that it can't really be justified.
"If you're of the mormon faith, and support gay marriage... Stop kidding yourself... You're either an enemy to the Mormon agenda or an enemy of liberty."
"You can't preach tolerance, and in the very next breath preach that a person's very nature is 'wrong'"
He has a point. With both of those things. You can't be Mormon and support gay marriage. You can't be Mormon and say the person you believe speaks directly to God is wrong and that you're just not going to follow one part of the ten things he taught that day. It doesn't work that way. You're in or your out. If you're going to preach and say you are part of a religion, BE PART OF THAT RELIGION. You can't support both the gay cause and the anti-gay agenda.
So what am I going to do about it?
I will be requesting my name be pulled from church records. I've put this off for 6 years. First due to not wanting to break my fragile great grandmother's heart, and second due to the sheer lack of desire to have to put up a fight with the Missionaries and old Bishops that come calling and trying to convince me I'm making a mistake.
But I am DONE. I'm ready for the fight, and I will tell anyone who comes preaching exactly why I am done.
