Festival of Colors

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama

Rama Rama Hare Hare

Saturday afternoon Josh, Paul, Angel, Max and I all hoped in the car and made the trek down to Spanish Fork for the Festival of Colors. This is thrown annually at the Hare Krishna Temple, and we had found out about it on our last trip down there. We didn't end up leaving Ogden until almost 4pm, and since it started at 4 we were considerably late. When we got there we had to park about a mile away and hike through a maze of fields to get there. What we didn't realize was that the fields were swamp land, and I managed to ruin my really nice new shoes. *Sniffle* They were the new ones I got at Forever Young and Josh said they looked "French", they were also extremely comfy. But it was still worth it.

There was easily a thousand or so people there, and a live band playing the Hare Krishna chant over and over in different fashions. Angel and I spent the first 20 minutes waiting in line for the port-o-potty and then we all wandered around for another 45 minutes looking at things and observing people. Everyone was so colorful! We hadn't managed to get there in time to get any chalk, but Josh and Paul got splattered with some Fuchsia chalk, and were all too happy to share with me! ;) I want to earn some more pink chalk!

Then Josh decided he'd lead the way and head down into the crowd. Angel and I trotted along behind him, then Paul came. Max was all too happy to stand up on the hill and watch. So we danced and it was so much fun! People were throwing shoes up on top of the Gazebo/Stage and crowd surfing, there were guys dancing around in their underwear, and we just stayed on the edge and danced. It really was a blast!

Stopped for gas and dinner at the Flying J in Payson. It was fun to sit around and chat and catch up after the Festival. We weren't the only people there covered in chalk, but the employees there got a kick out of our colors. Then driving home we happened to pass Shayla (my little sister) and her new boyfriend on the freeway, so we all pulled over at Wal Mart to say hello and chat for a minute.

We sang along to Dr. Horrible and the Buffy musical in the car, and by the time we got to my house we smelled badly of swamp water, were covered in dirt and chalk, and poor Josh was asleep in the back seat. We stopped and grabbed me some new shoes and pants, dropped off Paul and Angel, then Max and I settled in at Josh's house for the night so we could do our Sunday morning breakfast at the Star Cafe. It was so much fun! A pretty great weekend overall!

Here's some more pictures that I took at the Festival!

Numb

Today finds this blank "create post" screen taunting me, as I am finding it difficult to make any sense of the emotions that are swirling around so quickly inside of me that they leave me numb. At this moment, numb is good. Numb keeps me from breaking down in public, it keeps me closer to the edge of self-control, and it allows me to distract myself with work and editing stories. However, numb is not conducive to good writing and/or good blogging.

So here I sit, staring at the screen in front of me and typing out my numbness in hopes that it will flow into some form of actual expression, anything at all. Even as I explain this emptiness inside of me I am teetering on the verge of breaking that barrier, that thin line between numb and overwhelmed, that I dare not cross for fear I will lose my ability to function. When you're working an eight hour shift dealing with customers and coworkers, some sense of normal functioning is a necessity. That ability must be maintained until I find myself in the security of my bed, under the blankets where I can hide myself away from the world once more and allow myself to fall to pieces.

Something slightly funny, in an effort to distract myself I decided to check my horoscope today. How accurate can these things be really? "Boost your blue mood with some nice conversation today. Seek out a funny friend." My moods generally don't get any more blue than what I'm feeling right now, and how I wish I had contact with a funny friend right now... I could use a pick-me-up. Unfortunately the people that I would normally contact first, are inappropriate or unavailable at this time. That leaves me wondering who to turn to besides myself, and feeling awfully alone.

I'm just not sure exactly what to say or do to make everything ok, I'm not sure how to turn things around and make it better. How can you show someone that everything you say has more meaning that they're absorbing? That you not only speak from your own heart but with the wisdom of the Universe whispering in your ear as well? There's no way I can give up the fight, not when it's this important to me, I will not lay down and surrender. This is not over.

Astrologically Speaking

I enjoy Astrology, I'll admit to it. That doesn't mean I rely on a horoscope or live my life by it, but it's fun to think about and observe. You'd be surprised how many people live up to the description of their signs, myself included. So here's a little about me... Astrologically speaking, that is.

Birthday: April 18th, 1986 at 8:15pm in Orem UT.

Your sun sign represents the sign of the Zodiac that the sun was in at the time of your birth. It rules willpower and ego, and is said to influence the main direction your life takes. Supposedly, it's a representation of the your core, of your true self. Think of it as the "Soul", your inner personality and potential.

Sun Sign: Aries Element: Fire Quality: Cardinal
Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac, kind of like being the first born child. They tend to take the role as leadership and put forth the effort in kicking projects off, but not necessarily finishing them. This sign is a bundle of energy and tend to rush head first into things without fully thinking them through first, and just like a burst of fire they can rush into something and rush back out just as quickly. The dawning of a new day -- and all of its possibilities -- is pure bliss to an Aries. People who are Aries are charming and intelligent, but they speak their minds and at times can be too blunt. However, their sheer force of nature is enough to get anyone excited and on board with just about any project.

Your moon sign focuses more on the inner depths of you, and touches more on an emotional/domestic level. This refers to where the moon was at the time of your birth. Think of it as your "Heart", your emotional core.

Moon Sign: Leo Element: Fire Quality: Fixed
Leos are warm and loving and generous, but they tend to think of themselves as the royalty of the Zodiac and expect to be treated as the Queen/King that they feel they are. They inspire loyalty and devotion in their loved ones, which is good because they will never settle for anything less. They are very prideful, and have the strong need to feel recognized and appreciated. The only way to hurt their feelings is to ignore them. Others find them very difficult to resist, due to the amount of love and affection they lavish on the people they care about. Leos are genuine and sincere and have a strong sense of personal integrity.

Your rising sign or "ascendant sign" is in reference to which Zodiac sign was ascending on the eastern horizon at the time of your birth. Think of it as your "physical self", or basically the face you present to the world. People tend to use their rising sign as a "mask" to hide some part of their inner self they don't feel like revealing.

Rising Sign: Scorpio Element: Water Quality: Fixed
Scorpio as a rising sign there is the possibility that your intensity can become intimidating. People are inexplicably drawn to you and tend to tell you things they wouldn't tell other people. The downside to having Scorpio for your ascendant sign is that you can seem a little moody or dangerous, but at least there is an air of Mystery to you! Scorpio's are a water sign so they're very emotional, but also a little emotionally withdrawn.

Chinese Sign: Tiger Element: Fire
Magnetic and self-possessed Tiger signs are born leaders. They are magnetically charming and fun to be around, but there are times when they really need to go it alone. A Tiger's main interest is following it's own ambitions and maintaining control. Tigers have a noble raw appeal that is extremely attractive to other signs, and they will fight the good fight until the very end if they feel their cause is worthy. Tigers can pounce without warning and are prone to mood swings and they often feel things more intensely than others. They need to learn moderation.

So I'm a Fire-Fire-Water with an extra dash of Fire! Does it all seem a little off-balance? It's definitely fitting though. I am headstrong and fiery and I definitely rush into things head first and keep fighting if I feel the cause is worthy. Yet also, there are these underlying emotional feelings and it causes turbulence within me. Intense and energetic, and there are definitely times of mood swings. Haha!

*All artwork here copyright one of my favorite artists Josephine Wall www.josephinewall.co.uk.