I'm Not Waiting Around for a Man to Save Me

While I have had plenty of experience with dating in all of its various forms, I still consider myself having been single for the majority of my life due to the fact that I've had very few committed relationships. One thing this experience has taught me over the years is independence, and I'm glad for it.  I take care of myself, I pay my own bills, I make my own decisions (with the occasional opinion from a friend or two), I do/buy/think/say what I want, and I live how I want-and I like it.  Not having a man to rely on has taught me how to fend for myself and fight my own battles.

That doesn't mean I never wanted a real relationship or a significant other around.  I did.  I do. I will.  However, after years of waiting around in hopes that the right guy would come along-I'm not waiting anymore.  I'm doing things I never thought I'd do on my own (buy a house, for one) and it feels damned good.  I'm learning skills like patching drywall, changing locks, fixing headlights, etc.  I'm one fierce woman.

One thing it does mean is that I'm a twenty-nine year old single woman who has her shit together.  I own my own home, my own car, go to work 40+ hours a week, and I take care of myself.  There is no part of me that waits around for my "Prince Charming" anymore-I save myself.

That doesn't go just for the physical/monetary things in life either-it also covers emotional and mental well-being.  For the most part, I have all that shit together.  I battle with a lot of the same things as other people like depression (yes, even chemical) and anxiety (moderate to severe), as well as the stuff that comes along like heartbreak, disappointment, failure, self-doubt, insecurity, and devastating loss.  But you know what?  I pull myself together after each of these things and I keep trucking.  I don't let them hold me back from living my life and moving forward.  I enlist help when I need it (I see a therapist once or twice a month), I take days off from the world when I need them, but I never retreat into myself and let my life disappear for good.

I have my shit together.  A lot of people don't.  I end up dating most of them.

Sometimes I think I probably come off as a bit intimidating for some of the guys who date me. I mean, I don't mind if they buy me dinner, open my doors, fix something for me-but I don't need them to, and I wont wait for it either.  If I need something fixed-I fix it.  If I need something done-I do it.  It's just easier that way.  But some guys can't handle not being "needed" or relied on, and they run or self-sabotage.  Big babies.

Hey-I don't mind being intimidating.  It weeds out the guys I probably don't want to spend the rest of my life with anyway.  If a guy can't handle my independence, or any other part of me, I don't need him around.  You know why?  I'm single and I like it.  Someday someone awesome will come along and change that, and I'll like that too, but until then-I'm good.  I'm not going to rush into a relationship or settle just because I don't want to be alone anymore.  I hope any future guys I date are prepared for that-because it's going to take a good independent man to keep up with me too.

This week's song

Single

by Natasha Bedingfield

I'm not waiting around for a man to save me ('cause I'm happy where I am)

Don't depend on a guy to validate me (no no)

I don't need to be anyone's baby (is that so hard to understand?)

No I don't need another half to make me (oh no no)

Make your move if you want, doesn't mean I will or wont

I'm free to make my mind up, you either got it or you don't

This is my current single status

My declaration of independence

There's no way I'm trading places

Right now a stars in the ascendant

I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be
I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good (I like who I am)

I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love, 'cause I would

I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cause you say I should (can't romance on demand)

I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

This is my current single status

My declaration of independence

There's no way I'm trading places

Right now a stars in the ascendant

I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be

I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be

(repeat x2)

Everything in it's right time, everything in it's right place

I know I'll settle down one day, but 'til then I like it this way

It's my way, and I like it this way

Make your move if you want, doesn't mean I will or wont

I'm free to make my mind up, you either got it or you don't

(Until then I'm single)

This is my current single status

My declaration of independence

There's no way I'm trading places

Right now a stars in the ascendant

(repeat x2)

I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be

I'm single (right now) that's how I want to be

(repeat x3)

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Musical Mondays is a weekly linky party where you can share songs or other music-related posts each Monday and link up with the linky.  Then you can visit the other music posts linked up. To join us:

• Write a blog post sharing music or something music-related.
• Include the Musical Mondays button (code below) and/or a link back.
• Link-up in the linky below. (NEW-It's going to be a month long linky, so feel free to add links through the month!)
• Visit other Musical Monday links in the linky.

The Weekly Round-Up: How to Not Suck at Blogging

"Remember that your audience took their precious time to not only read your blog, but to leave a comment on it. Have the courtesy to respond to their comments and foster a desire to continue the conversation. By responding to comments left on your blog in a timely manner, your audience will feel cared about, cherished and therefor interested in returning."

▶ Kimi from Kimi Who wrote this great post (and we have our title) called How to Not Suck at Blogging.  It offers some fairly simple tips you can apply to your blog in order to help your blog not suck.  Simple, right?

"as you can see, i then get a manageable list of bookmarks for me to view and click on! much easier than having to scroll for ages to find my latest bookmarks. i am trying to be more organised with the things i find online and using this method (and pinterest) i feel like i am on top of all of the cool resources i have found. yay me!"

▶ Sara from A Cat-Like Curiosity shared a great post about organizing Facebook and Tumblr for Busy Bloggers.  We're all busy bloggers, so these are some helpful tips I think we could all benefit from.

"I will be featuring my favorite instagram photos weekly and the rest of the co-hosts will be checking out any posts with the hashtag #EverythingAugust too."

▶ Alanna from Alanna & Company is doing an August Instagram Challenge.  Instagram is a great way to boost your blog!

"I celebrated a blogiversary this past April. Usually when a blogger reaches that milestone, they do a post celebrating their hard work, their readers and reflect on the happier moments of the year. I didn’t do that. As I sat down to reflect on my year, all I could see were disorganized posts and my inconsistency. Now, I know there were some great moments as well, but I was convicted that because I was disorganized and my readers were paying the price. Back in April, I decided to get better."

▶ Chelsie from Life with Rosie shared her Blogging Binder and offered tips on how to make one yourself! Useful!

 

"Here’s the secret: you just need to be WHERE YOUR AUDIENCE IS! That’s it. If they are on Facebook or Bloglovin’ or the good ole IG (Instagram to old people – that includes me) then you should be on those sites promoting your brand. If your audience is not on Google+ (which I hope not, I hate G+), then why are you wasting your valuable time on G+?? Just stop it."

▶ Lizzy from Stumbling Upon Lizzy shared a fantastic post regarding where you're spending you're time promoting your blog.  She's right.  You need to be where your audience is, otherwise it's fruitless.

What are your favorite posts this week?

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How this works:

• Follow your hosts Miss Angie at My So-Called Chaos and Aubrey at High-Heeled Love.
• Write up a blog post sharing some of your favorite posts this week from other bloggers.
• Add the Weekly Round-Up Button (code above) and/or a link back to your blog post.
• Link-up with our weekly linky party on Sundays.
• Visit other party-people to see what posts they liked this week!

August 12x30 Challenge: Photo a Day

<a href="http://www.mysocalledchaos.com/2015/06/july-12x30-challenge-be-present.html" target="blank"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxDQ-k-zxvysjkECBbIaRjkx9oJ-FXUEQ2M7BWFhcgIrOLMY9wKFdUHljfw5FcVfz9TTOaZjcjnHHu6p64VjG8pZVanc3LjB6msVyZM5QJx_jxmTp5-JLNzxHWdBQGcirPBr1Nzyz_Cs/s1600/unnamed.jpg" alt="The Weekly Round-Up"></a>

Sooooo honestly, I didn't realize it was August already.  No joke, I've been so swamped with things like my house that I haven't at all had a chance to even think about what's coming up.  Well, August 1st snuck up on me, and here we are-time to announce August's 12x30 Challenge! 

This month's challenge is all about the pictures, so it's really simple to participate-just take a photo a day.  No joke.  You can either share each photo daily on your blog or write a round-up with all of them-it's totally up to you!  You can choose whether you're going to share them on Instagram each day, or just take them with your nice camera and post them later, or both!

Need inspiration?  Well Alanna of @AlannaandCo is hosting an August Instagram Challenge called #EverythingAugust that you could totally join in with as well.



Link up any related posts with us this month hear.  Don't forget that Kenzie and I will be featuring our favorite posts at the end of the month.  Check out my features from last month HERE. Don't forget to include the button with the code above.  Make sure to share the things you do on Social Media and hashtag them with #12x30Challenge or #TrySomethingNew.

Check out the previous month's here:

• January's Love Yourself Challenge.
• February's Get Organized Challenge.
• March's No Spending Challenge.
• April's Reading Challenge.
• May's Random Acts of Kindness Challenge.
• July's Try Something New Challenge.