We've all been told this multiple times in our life-don't drive drunk. Most of us were told by our parents and teachers; we watched videos in Driver's Ed, and we see the signs and hear the PSA's from M.A.D.D. and law enforcement often. Driving drunk comes with so many outcomes and rarely ends with you home safe and sound. You could lose your license, end up with thousands of dollars in fines, damage property, or worse-kill someone or end up dead yourself. When you're happy and bubbly and just a little bit tipsy, it's easy to forget all the outcomes that come from making any kind of decision, let alone a bad decision.
When I was 22 and first being introduced to my (then) boyfriend's family, his sister-in-law was involved in a drunk driving accident. She had made a quick trip to Jackson Hole with a friend who needed a driving buddy, and was hit head on by a drunk driver who had gotten on the freeway going the wrong direction.
I still remember her husband bursting into the room where my boyfriend and I were sleeping to announce she'd just been in the accident. The accident punctured her spleen and she couldn't breathe, so she'd called to tell him she loved him and the kids because she didn't think she was going to make it. He and my boyfriend rushed to the hospital, I stayed behind to watch the kids who were sleeping, and she luckily made it through after a few weeks in the hospital. I'm sure glad she did, because to this day she is one of my very most dear friends and I wouldn't want to live without her.
It was so easy at that time to think about how awful the drunk driver had been. How dare they drink and drive-look what it does to people! How horrible could you be?
...And then yesterday morning I woke up to several reports from family members that my 18 year old cousin Jessie was in the ICU fighting for her life after a massive car accident.
As I started looking into news story after news story it became apparent that Jessie had gotten on the freeway going the wrong direction and was driving very fast when she collided head-on with another car. Jessie was alone in her Cherokee, and the Civic she hit (see the photo at the very top of this post-that's what remains of their car) had three passengers-two of which were killed on impact. The driver died instantly, and there was a female passenger sleeping in the back seat of the car that was ejected from the vehicle and killed also (PSA always wear a seatbelt!). The third passenger and Jessie were rushed to the hospital. Then they found alcohol in her car. The car, which she had to be cut out of, now looks like this:
Now I should say that I wasn't very close with Jessie. I haven't seen her or her sister since they were very little kids, and I was a kid myself them. I've kept up wit her sister on my Facebook and from hearing things through other relatives, but we weren't close and didn't really have any kind of relationship as adults. That doesn't stop you from feeling sad for someone you one knew, and for the other people involved in the accident who were only in their early to mid twenties. Everyone involved was so young.
Jessie passed away at 11:45AM yesterday morning. The doctors reported that her brain wasn't getting enough blood flow and the family had to make the difficult decision to take her off life support and donate her organs. She was only 18 years old. 18 Years old and life is over because of one mistake.
Jessie and her sister Stevie had kind of a rough time of it growing up, mostly due to family situations that were out of their control and that I can't get into here, but from everything I've seen she was young and full of life and energy. Her sister reports that she was smart and knew how to talk to people, and that she had so much going for her.
It kind of changes your whole view on that one little mistake. You can't look at a drunk driver and assume they were a horrible person-because they're not always, or even often. They're good people who made one bad call in one bad moment and ended up in a place no one should be. They may be at fault, and other people may have also paid dearly for their choice, but you can't just assume they're bad people.
While we may know where the fault lies, pointing fingers and saying hateful things (as have been said in comments on social media) at a time like this isn't helpful.
The best thing we can do is take this moment, this very tragic and depressing moment with three lives lost, and remind ourselves and others to please NEVER DRIVE DRUNK. If there's even a question in your mind about whether or not you're sober enough-just don't do it. Get a designated driver, call a friend, take a cab, try Uber-anything-just don't risk it. Making the right decision when you're tipsy or intoxicated can save lives-even your own.
The photo above was taken on Jessie's Graduation day as she shared a moment with her big sister. Jessie is on the left, and her sister Stevie (who is so amazingly strong and smart-I've been lucky to see that over the last few years) is on the right. Stevie remembers out happy Jessie had been that day. She was a healthy and beautiful girl.
I'm sending all of my love to Stevie and the other family members (both mine, Jessie's, and those of the other people involved in this sad accident) who've been dealing with this for the last few days. My heart breaks for their loss and the strength they have had to show, especially Stevie, in the face of all of this hardship.
I'll always remember Jessie as the cute and fiery little girl, who with the help of sister, poured perfume all over my Furby and spread my makeup all over the carpet. I remember how mad I was back then, but now it'll just be a treasured memory.
RIP Jessie, may you find peace wherever you are.
Friends, readers, all of you-please please please be safe out there.
Wear your seat belts. Drink responsibly. And live life to the fullest.
