Showing posts with label Body Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body Love. Show all posts

4.11.2015

Saturday Spotlight & Guest Post: I'm All About That Bass...But Not Skinny Shaming

Hello readers!  Today I'm very excited to bring you a guest post from the lovely Nina of The Grand Adventures of Me.  Nina won two awards in my 2015 Best of Blog Awards-one for funniest post and one for this post she's about to share with you, which won for Best Post overall.  It's a fantastic post, with an awesome message I agree with-so check it out!

♥ ♥ ♥

The concept of beauty is subjective. To me, I've always thought darker skin is more beautiful than lighter skin. To another person, blonde hair is more beautiful than red hair. The concept of the "norm" of beauty is also constantly changing.

For instance: look at the ideal image of beauty during the Renassiance:

Saturday Spotlight & Guest Post: I'm All About That Bass...But Not Skinny Shaming

For one thing, Renassiance painters looooved naked woman. Actually, any man at any given era loves a naked woman. But look at this woman. She has small breasts, a rotund stomach, a fleshy pubic area, and thick thighs. This was beauty back then. If you were a hefty woman, that meant you were wealthy and could afford to eat. This woman is beautiful.

Lets jump a couple hundred years and look at the ideal image of beauty in the 1960's.



I'm pretty sure Twiggy got her name because she was skinny as a twig. Or did that statement derive from Twiggy - "you're as skinny as a twig." Which came first, the chicken or the egg? From what I gather, in the 60's this was portrayed as the ideal image of beauty, which is laughable because it's near impossible for anyone to get to be this size without starving themselves. That is not to say, though, that is is impossible, because I do have friends with a very tiny frame, and small bones and they're this thin. They just are.

What I love about living in this day and time is that even though we are constantly bombarded by the media, we are given so many opportunities to become critical thinkers - active participants in what is going on around us. If I'm going to be honest, though, I'm hardly an active listener, or viewer, or reader. My mom, my sister, and my boyfriend all point out the type of music I listen to has an atrocious message. How can I stand such filth? My mom asks. I can listen to Wiggle (Jason Derulo & Snoop Dogg) without remorse because I'm not actively thinking about what I'm listening to. All I hear is a good beat that I want to run to, or dance to. But here's my problem, by not actively listening to what I hear, then I'm allowing myself to take in the words without processing it. Instead, I just wiggle wiggle wiggle.

(I promise, I'm getting to my point. English major probz. We like to be wordy.)

So you all know that song Anaconda by Nicki Minaj? Great little diddy. I love me some Sir Mix A Lot, and I most definitely got up and rapped Baby Got Back at a karaoke bar on my birthday. And, sad to say, I find Nicki Minaj catchy. The song in itself really is terrible, but there is a part that they don't play on the radio because it's dumb and annoying and serves no purpose (much like the rest of that song, but whatever.) In the very end as the music is fading, Nicki Minaj says "Oh you knkow he love this fat *ss" *her creepy laugh* and then she says "f--- them skinny b*tches" in the club." And I was astounded!

First of all, I am a skinny girl, and I do not appreciate when girls with bigger butts put it in my face. I wouldn't mind if my butt was bigger, quite frankly. But I don't care if another lady has more booty in the pants than I do, because she evidently likes red beans and rice more than I do, and maybe that's how her body is built! But I do care whenever heavier girls skinny shame us skinnier girls.

So Meghan Trainor is pretty popular right now with All About that Bass. I'm all about that bass too; I love to dance. I think the great thing about Meghan Trainor right now is that she accepts her body type, and encourages other girls to do the same, if they have curves. According to Trainor, thicker women are more beautiful because her momma told her that "boys like to hold a little more booty at night." Without getting into the whole psychology of the truth that men do prefer a significant hip to waist ratio, What Trainor says is somewhat true. But that isn't to say that a man isn't going to love his girlfriend who has a serious case of "no-ass-at-all" (which boys in high school accused me of having. It's a wonder I had a boyfriend since my butt was so small.) I agree with Trainor in that we as women are so prone to shaming our bodies because they don't match what we see on TV, and that we need to know that "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top."

Here's my problem. Several of Trainor's lyrics go like this:

"You know I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll"

You go girl, don't be a stick figure, but don't make fun of and point out girls who are. Some girls have a stick figure because of their bone structure, and yes, some girls have a stick figure because they have an eating disorder. And yes, they have an eating disorder because the media portrays that super skinny women are the ideal of beauty. I get where Trainor is going with this.

My main problem is when Trainor says,

"I'm bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny b*tches, Hey No I'm just playing"

WHAT. Why is this okay?! She says it like a Freudian slip. Yeah she may be just playing, but she still said what she said. She partially believes what she said. Can't we just leave the skinny women alone? Even furthermore, can we as women agree that it is inappropriate and degrading to call each other "the b word?" It's enough that we allow men to refer to us as such, but why can't we stand together as ladies, and act like ladies without the hateful name calling, no matter the size?!

Trainor is skinny shaming. Average or overweight women should not be allowed to skinny shame. Sometimes skinny girls can't help it. Some women have high metabolism and still eat a ton. And some women, yes, do have eating disorders. And that is tragic and terrible and we should do something about that. But telling a girl that she looks like she's from the Holocaust is not only rude, but highly insensitive and inappropriate to the people who actually were in the Holocaust. And asking a girl if she is anorexic is not only rude, but insensitive towards the girls who really do struggle with an eating disorder.

And likewise, skinny girls shouldn't fat shame. They shouldn't look at women who are bigger than themselves and point out how much they eat or if they are unhealthy. Like skinny girls, bigger girls are fully aware of their size. We all have mirrors. We know what we look like. And no matter what we look like, having the confidence to look in the mirror and say "I am beautiful, because I am loved, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made" is what truly makes us beautiful.

This is beautiful.


This is beautiful.


And this is beautiful.


Let's love our bodies. And let's love each other, because you really are perfect from the bottom to the top.


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9.25.2014

These Things Really Make My Inner Feminist all Ranty

Today I was scrolling through my Facebook feed during my ten-minute break in French Class, and found this link that was shared by one of my female friends.  The entire article is all about how guys hate high-wasted shorts and how ugly they all are on the women wearing them.  It goes through various (and pretty offensive) quotes from men of various ages saying things like "they're just fat-hiders" or "boner-killers."

If your'e not sure what high-wasted shorts are, here's a look:

(Source one, two and three.)

It should be noted that none of these women are hiding any fat that I can see. Not that it's any of my damn business.

Seeing as I only had a few minutes to scroll through this article, I decided I was too disgusted to even read it word for word and closed it down just taking a moment to leave a comment with my disagreement on the Facebook status that had shared it and turn to my classmate to voice my disgust.  My class mate, the petite and absolutely gorgeous Mandy, sat there blinking at me wearing her high-wasted shorts.  High-wasted shorts she'd made herself by frugally cutting up an old pair of jeans.

Yes, going back and reading it now I see that this article does it's due diligence and wraps up at the end with the statement that we shouldn't be dressing to impress men-but that statement almost seems to contradict the entire premise of the article at all.  If you don't believe you should be dressing to impress men, why are you taking the time to interview a bunch of them on the subject of women's clothing?  Why are you taking the time to write up an entire article spreading this misplaced idea that what we wear is influenced by how attractive the opposite sex finds us?  It feels like while you're saying one thing at the end there, but your actions with the rest of the post are entirely different.

So you don't like high-wasted shorts.  I get it.  Do I think they're attractive on everyone?  No.  Do I think you should try and dress for your body type?  Yes.  Would I wear them?  Not a chance in hell. On me, they would be fat-hiders, but let's be real-I wouldn't wear the low wasted ones and show off my stomach either-I'm just not comfortable with that. But you know, even if a girl twice as big as me wants to wear them (or wear a bikini and show off her stomach) I'm not going to fault her or tell her she's "ugly" or ask 12 guys to tell me how bad they find her fashion choices because she is wearing whatever she's wearing and then post their comments full of sexist slurs on my blog for everyone to read.  I'll look at that other girl and say, "gee, you're pretty.  I'm sure glad you're having fun with your own body and your own fashion!" 

And I get it, this article was written to be "witty" and it was meant in humor... Typically I'm all for not taking things to serious-I mean just about everything is funny.  However I find it sad when that humor is at the expense of others and includes some pretty awful misogynist garbage.  A quick look through the comments and I'm happy to see some guys jumping in to point out that it's BS.  To be honest, I don't think I'd want to date a guy that had that much of a problem with any article of clothing... Yeah you can have your preference, but to actively go out and proclaim how much you hate them and wont even consider getting to know a girl who is wearing them says more about your character than the girl who made that fashion choice for the day.


But sadly, along with the guys commenting to let us know that there is hope for men everywhere and not to judge the gender by those few comments, I was sad to see so many women perpetuating this girl-on-girl hate.  By the way, why on earth is there so much girl-on-girl hate?  One commenter pointed out that she never dresses for guys, but she dresses for girls because she knows they'll judge her.  

I should remember by now that I hate reading the comments on stuff like this (and news articles, and YouTube) because people are hideous to each other.  But that's another topic for a different day.

So what is my point with ranting about this?  Why can't we all just live our own lives and let other people live theirs without proclaiming how much we hate them for it?  Sure, I'm not always perfect and I catch myself unfortunately judging people now and again, but it is rarely over something so extremely trivial, and I usually correct the problem the minute I catch it.  We're human.  It happens.  How about instead of furthering all the negativity we take a moment to stop and add a little more positivity into the world?

Today, I'm going to encourage you to tell at least three women you meet how beautiful they are.
Even if they look unkempt.  Even if they're having a bad day and are scowling.  Spread love.
You never know who's world you'll change with one simple comment.

(This awesome comic comes from Penny Candy Studios who you should check out!)

As always, if you want to disagree with me it's welcomed in a professional courteous manner.  If you leave a ranty slur-filled comment it'll be deleted.  You're an adult, you know how this works. :) 


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