My So-Called Chaos: It's Been A Hundred Years, I've No Idea Which Direction to Go

6.22.2015

It's Been A Hundred Years, I've No Idea Which Direction to Go

Life seems a little crazy right now. Everything's in the process of changing... It doesn't feel like one of those big awakenings where everything's on the verge of change and I'm anticipating and tingling for it. Instead, it feels like I know everything is going to change, and I'm just waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I feel like I spend a lot of time waiting these days. I'm waiting to find out if this house is for real this time. Waiting to find out if this boy is for real, and if he'll get things together in time to catch me. Waiting to see how I'll feel about it all. Waiting to see what I need to do to progress in either front. So much waiting.

However, the problem is not in the having to wait for something. The problem is my attitude about waiting. It's the way I see the waiting in my own head like it's something I have to reluctantly do. Wait, the problem is with me? Crazy. Mirrors.

The waiting can be a blessing, if I let it... If I'll just change my perception of the matter at hand on all fronts I'll find that time is good. Instead of feeling like I'm just waiting, I can actively be preparing. I can be cleaning, and packing, and putting things in gear for what will come. There is time to see how I really feel about situations and their possible outcomes. The time before it all falls into place can be a blessing, because it eventually will fall into place, but will I be ready? I hope so.

Today's song isn't super relating to my situation, but it's been in my head non-stop and I have to share it. I've listened to Elle King's album "Love Stuff" so many times in the last couple of weeks I have all of the songs damn-near memorized, and I'm not sick of it yet. This is the song that keeps playing in my head, and I have to listen to it daily just to keep the earworm from playing on repeat all day long. But I don't mind-I really like it.

This week's song:

Song of Sorrow

by Elle King

Made my way to Passerman's Hollow even though it was too soon

And all the King's men say 'there's no tomorrow'

So I followed the sorrow song of the moon

Scriptures slinging and I can't seem to find my way back home

It's been a hundred years, I've no idea which direction to go

This is my song of sorrow

Weak and wide-eyed my pride is swallowed

I'm begging for my heart's last beat

And I'm repaying all the time I borrowed

So forever the sorrow song I sing

Scriptures slinging and I can't seem to find my way back home

It's been a hundred years, I've no idea which direction to go

This is my song of sorrow

Oooo, song of sorrow

Oooo

Scriptures slinging and I can't seem to find my way back home

It's been a hundred years, I've no idea which direction to go

Scriptures slinging and I can't seem to find my way back home

It's been a hundred years, I've no idea which direction to go

This is my song of sorrow

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